A Slate Best Kept Blank
by RackleCrackle
Summary: The road to humanity is paved with less than humane intentions. The cracked foundation to healing is scars. Sai doesn't understand what it means to be in touch with emotions and Naruto doesn't help but then does. Unknowingly, of course. And then Sasuke Uchiha comes into the picture. YAOI. NO LIKEY NO READY.
1. Chapter 1

**A SLATE BEST KEPT BLANK**

 **Summary:** The road to humanity is paved with less than humane intentions. The cracked foundation to healing is scars. Sai doesn't understand what it means to be in touch with emotions and Naruto doesn't help but then does. Unknowingly, of course. And then Sasuke Uchiha comes into the picture. A look at Sai's life and how his emotions slowly but surely unravel, leaving trenches of ripped roots in the process.

 **Pairing: YAOI,** not sure yet but something to the tune of SaiNaruSasu

 **AN:** This story pretty much disregards the vast majority of the Naruto canon timeline. I'm doing this because I'm curious as to the dynamic between them this is probably going to be angsty because Sai's character is kinda tragic. And Sasuke. Also, I'm doing this as I go so idk where its really going. This was _meant_ to be a oneshot or two but im currently at 25k words sooo.. I'm posting the second chapter tomorrow.

* * *

 **0.5 Prolouge**

It's not that he never knew how to feel it's that he has been taught how to fight them, ignore them. Smother them like a blanket to a bright flame.

True standing Root members are the most loyal submissive soldiers Konoha has never acknowledged. But that kind of loyalty comes at a price and those of his creed are strangers in their own residence, their own home, their own body. Their thoughts, mantras and decisions are never truly their own. They follow blindly, ask no questions raise no flags, with no direction besides the one they are given. They are the foundations Konoha can anchor her roots in for safety.  
He used to exist in a world of greys, the metallic scent of blood and fragmented shadows (it's the reason his strongest work is that drawn in black ink.) Mission work was analytical, separate oneself from the situation and act accordingly, even a if a hair's width deeper that kunai would've left you bleeding on the floor. There was no room for fear or hesitation only logic and instinct. It cost you your life and above that the mission.

He does not live, he exists and he exists for one sole purpose.  
And then he meets Team Seven and in particular, Naruto Uzumaki and it all begins to change, slowly. Reintroduction into society is harsh, after spending his whole life quite literally hidden away it is foreign to associate with others that isn't through fists or basic necessary transactions. It's his toughest mission to date. Uchiha Sasuke is not eliminated and he finds himself placed in a team of incompetents it seems, he is used to being a professional team. Then the jinchurriki opens his mouth about the Uchiha.  
Revenge they are told is one of the drives of unfit shinobi, it clouds the mind it invites corruption and most of all, error. It is unnecessary, granting a small bit a satisfaction in attempts to fix the damage that is done, more often than not much bigger than what that satisfaction can give. Naruto Uzumaki speaks so highly about his disgraced teammate that has done nothing but turn his back on him.

It doesn't make sense. It doesn't fit into the equations and ideals he holds, in Team Seven A plus B does not equal C but some other abstract concept whose name he does not know. Dickless fights for a person that for all intents and purposes seems to loathe the fact that he even exists.

But he speaks so highly of his bonds with others and their importance and it reminds him of someone, someone who once long ago meant something to him when the world wasn't one mechanical motion at a time and for the slightest of seconds it sends him reeling. His brother hasn't crept into his thoughts in what seems like years.

(Of course emotions are not that easy to fight and their treks remain like whispers in his ear.)

Naruto Uzumaki does something to him, he plants the smallest of seedlings in his mind of curiosity, of doubt, _I want_ , it echoes somewhere in the deepest nooks and crannies of his memories and brain up there on the highest shelf that has gathered dust and cobwebs of memories long since forgotten, padlocked and labeled _'do not_ _touch'_ in bolds and reds.

Danzo tells him Team Kakashi must be rubbing off on him, it's not meant as a compliment and he doesn't understand. It is not a jutsu or the actual rubbing of them against his arms so he doesn't understand.  
It happens gradually, almost four months into being on Team Kakashi, but it happens. Sensations and _feelings_ that he cannot identify, they are sometimes so subtle blurring on the edge of his conscious he almost misses them. At least that's how it starts out and then it merges into something he can't possibly ignore and it catches him off guard at certain moments. He realizes he identifies these leaks of _emotion_ when they're accompanied by physical ailments. An acceleration in heart beat, the perspiration forming on his palm, the smallest tick of energy through his body that leaves him with a lesser patience.

Trained to be the perfect assassin and a pure blooded Root member he realizes this is something of an issue. Restlessness, he learns, hesitation, irritation, all symptoms of a bigger ailment of emotion he cannot deal with directly and he's stuck in a maze with no exit. There is no medicine or training that will overcome those side effects. It makes sense he observes detached, logically speaking Dickless' shrill voice can wear on anyone's patience. Foreheads abuse is painful enough to make anyone stop for the briefest of seconds.

So he does what he's always been so good at, he hides and he lies. He hides and lies to Danzo who is always watching and studies these sensations,...these ailments,...these _symptoms_ on his own time.

It uproots him, upturns the essential core part which is cold and mechanical like a well oiled machine and it leaves him with questions and no answers in sight.  
It starts with Naruto Uzumaki and the sheer power in his words. Sai has no filter, he doesn't know when to stop and he has no brakes so when Naruto Uzumaki finds the singular thread of his conscious, his identity, his psyche and it starts the unwilling unraveling that was so nicely maintained in its own steel wire cage.

For Sai (but that's not even his real name) emotions are an ocean and he doesn't know how to swim. The mind and soul are a powerful thing and cannot be denied, and he will learn that the hard way.


	2. Chapter 2

**A SLATE BEST KEPT BLANK**

 **AN:** Sorry, I'm trash I said I was gonna upload this Tuesday and its Thursday. Also, I technically have the next four chapters but idk if i like how i started it off...hmmm...

* * *

 **01.**

Sai's research has multiple veins to tap, at times it seems like too much especially when it seems like progress is one step forward, two back. It doesn't matter how much he smiles, he always seems to be the type of person that is to be hated by others. Human emotions are just so complex (sometimes he wonders if he's even truly human).

There's multiple relations within the human experience and many of them Sai hasn't experienced and many he doubts he will but has the tiniest sliver of desire he will. There's basic friendship, (he's not sure if best friendship is a separate category), camaraderie/stranger/acquaintance, parent-child, teacher-student, and the most elusive one being the romantic dynamic. Each has behaviors designated appropriate and inappropriate and unfortunately he can't find books on each category.

Basic friendship he thinks he's competent with Ugly and Dickless but sometimes it's leaves him confused because Dickless does that thing where Sai says something and he stutters like an old machine and turns all red with steam coming out of his ears. Ugly just hits him. He's always read these are reactions that are not positive. But they call him a friend and they are also two of a handful of people that can handle him.  
It's all very confusing sometimes. He takes it as a win.

Dickless says that when he understands the basics of 'not being a jerk' it will come more naturally. The difficulty with that is that Sai doesn't even know where to start and everyone is wired different which makes him think he needs to approach things personality wise instead of by relation?

But that's a whole other minefield to investigate.

 **~OOOOO~**

It starts out simple. A mission, short and to the point, escort the Hokage on a peace visit to Suna and come back. Relations have been good so far and it's necessary to upkeep. Sai finds himself in a group with Ugly, Dickless and Shikamaru. He doesn't talk much with Shikamaru so he hasn't had the opportunity to gift him with a nickname.

The trek is relatively pleasant with the Hokage hounding Dickless most of the time and Ugly hounding Dickless. Sai reads his books. After the second night of camping out Sai finds Shikamaru laying down but not sleeping and decides it time to grace him with his charm.

"What are you doing?" He asks taking in his lazy figure moon with his hands behind his head.

"Nothing"

"That's what you always do, no?" Sai says falling back to his usual smile. Shikamaru gives him an odd look and for some reason doesn't look too pleased. Maybe he's distracting his sleep?

"I'm looking" he says instead and starts bouncing his leg. Sai has read it can be a tick from either fear nervousness or irritation. But why would he be nervous?

"What are you looking at?"

"The clouds"

"Why?"

He sighs, "because" is all he says. Something tells Sai he doesn't want to continue talking, but he's not sure so he ignores it and keeps on going. "I hear people make shapes out of what they see."

"Yes, I suppose some do" his voice slurs make the most minimal words necessary as if making separate words is too much for him. Why it would be too much effort to speak correctly? Sai doesn't know. He thinks of asking when Naruto saunters over and plops down on the other side of Shikamaru.

"Don't look so ticked off, you're gonna see Temari tomorrow, you dog." Shikamaru breathes sharply through his nose.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

" _Sureee_ _you donttt_ , everyone can see it. When are you coming out with it already?"

"Naruto, I don't know what you're thinking but I'm pretty sure you're off there."

"When's the wedding?"

"You're getting married, Bambi?" He thinks of it on the spot, it's a deer fable he heard Beautiful and Ugly discussing with Umino-san.

Nara (Deer) + Children's deer fairytale hero ('Endearing') = A show of friendship, a fitting nickname. It makes sense.

Shikamaru turns his head so quickly he could have whiplash and stares at him with slanted dark eyes.

"What did you say?"

"It's a nickname, I read that-"

"-yeah I've heard all about that. Especially from Sakura. You wanna call me something call me Shikamaru"

"Or Shika" Naruto pitches in.

"Okay...Shika" he agrees saying it as if testing it out on his tongue.

"There is no wedding, we're not dating. We've just kissed and we flirt...if you can even call it that. It's harmless."

"You're involved romantically? So you are getting married." It's what all the books say.

"No, there's a difference between marriage and kisses, I mean haven't you ever kissed anyone?"

"No"

Naruto looks at him, squints and nods. "...Makes sense I guess"

"Yeah, someone with less social grace than you" Shikamaru scoffs and Sai doesn't quite understand so he just listens.

"Hey!" Naruto shouts but is drowned out by Shika's words.

"A kiss is by no means a marriage...they don't teach you...seduction in that...hole you came from..?" He shifts a bit uncomfortable feeling his cheeks burn. Shikamaru doesn't understand how he keeps finding himself in these situations.

"I know certain things but it's not necessary to learn that, we train for stealth and efficiency, that isn't factored in to fit into the equation." Shikamaru can read in between the lines and nods.

"Well you should ask Naruto to help you, he's real good at that" and with that he gets up patting his shoulder mockingly, leaving Naruto open mouthed and gaping like a fish.  
"You're such an asshole you know that!" He shakes his fist at the retreating figure.

"You are very experienced? " Sai says skeptically.

Naruto turns red, "he was being sarcastic" he grumbles.

"So no? It makes sense, I suppose, even Ugly doesn't want to date you..."

"Ugh, you're such an asshole too!" he huffs kicking up a cloud of dirt and stomps away leaving Sai confused to sit by himself under the starry sky.

 **~OOOOO~**

Tsunade leaves them be for the duration of their stay. They only stay two nights and they each do their own thing. Naruto and Tsunade both keep Gaara busy while Shikamaru sneaks off with his sister.

That leaves Sakura with Sai in between appearances at meetings and public gatherings. She drags him from place to place, looking at the Suna souvenirs and cultural knick-knacks. Sai listens to her complain about Beautiful and Shika and the Godaime and Dickless.

He says the wrong things at the wrong times and not at all what she clearly wants to hear even though he is just vocalizing his thoughts.

And then he asks, suddenly, "Are you experienced with kissing and sexual experiences?" and Ugly almost trips over the flat dirt streets-he almost says something about it but realizes he wouldn't get an answer (and they say he doesn't learn anything) -attracting looks in the process.

"Wha? Sai where the hell did that come from?! Are you coming onto me?!" She rounds on him as red as her incoming sunburn and goes to punch him, barely missing.

"No, I am not. If I wanted to find a partner I would look for someone attractive. Dickless and Shika were discussing it."

Sakura shifts from anger to embarrassment as the tension leaves her body. She turns less red and more pink with the realization that they're in public and she shakes her head (she curses the gods Naruto is no help at all but she doesn't expect this from Shikamaru! She doesn't know how she keeps finding herself in these situations.)

"Uhh what did Naruto and Shikamaru say?" She asks stepping closer in hushed tones.

"Shika was being sarcastic and Dickless ran away."

"Wouldn't surprise me...oh boy" she mumbles more to herself and scratches her cheek still blushing uncomfortably hot before looking both ways at the flow of shoppers.

"Maybe those type of feelings should be dealt with as they come? Are you...interested in a-anyone, romantically?" She fishes, she's almost as hot as the surrounding desert sand ( _Gods why_ ).

"I do not know. I don't think so? How would one know? Do you?"

Sakura feels herself deflate, that is a train wreck she is not going to deal with.

"Okay that's most likely a no. Don't worry about that because someone can (she would she _will_ but this is Sai) come along and you could develop those feelings and that is the person that will want to spend all their time with you and nurture and guide you in that direction...of exploring new things-physical things...and to answer your question it's complicated. Do you get it?" Ugly is flustered and she's rushing to get out what she wants to say. She ignores the 'how do you know' part because she refuses to go down that road.

"I think so" he says with a his plastic smile and a blank face and Sakura has a feeling it goes in one ear and comes out the other.

"Okay good, don't let what Naruto says or him goading you get to you, he's just as inexperienced. Believe me."

"Do you speak from personal encounters? I suppose I'm not surprised at his lack of experience but rather that Dickless has a dick."

She goes rigid before clamping a hand over his mouth. "Sai! Shut up" she hisses pushing his off to the side of the busy street. "There a children here and no it's not from personal experience! You're lucky we are in Suna on a friendly visit and I can't make a scene or not I would've beat your ass into a bloody plump right now"

A heartbeat of silence passes before Sai has to ask, "is it Sasuke Uchiha?"

He supposes he should have been more prepared for the punch, the traitor has always been a sensitive subject.

 **~OOOOO~**

Sai sits and tolerates Sakura shopping, it does not interest him and he always hears that honesty is the best policy but for all it is he ends up scraped and abused. It doesn't seem to always be effective. Turning another year older is no big deal for Sai but it seems to be a bigger deal to the rest of the world. He doesn't even know his own birthday.

By the end of the day Sakura has walked away with a simple red dress that is no different from the previous one she picked inn they're staying at is quiet and when they get back Sakura pushes and corners Naruto into her room.

His heart almost thunders out of his chest, Sakura wants him in her room! Then the giddiness turns to weariness as he catches the fierce glint in her eye and his escape is halted with a yank to the back of his collar.

"I just had the single most eye gouging appealing conversation I've ever had with Sai today" her pink hair sways as she plants her hands on her hips. From her firm tone and look in her eyes Naruto knows he's done something wrong, he braces himself.

"About what?" Sakura tries to let her anger burn brighter than her embarrassment.

"Romance and his sexual inexperience! Stop messing with him about that Naruto, especially since he really doesn't know better! It makes for awkward conversation!" She smacks his arm. They both burn a pretty pink.

"It wasn't me! It was Shika I swear! And he's just so aggravating so let me have my fun when I can I hate that guy!"

" _Naruto_. Take him out or something show him around maybe if he finds someone he likes he'll pester them with all these questions?" She tosses the idea at him, it makes sense it really does. Why put up with Sai's awkward stumble to find social awareness when you could pass the responsibility onto someone else?

Naruto looks over her shoulder into the far beyond and scrunches his nose pondering the possibilities.

Nope not good enough.

"Nope I'm not putting myself through that."

"Naruto, think about it. Sai isn't going to _find_ someone, until he _finds_ someone."

"Psh, this is Sai what makes you think he'll find anyone."

"I don't. But at least try?"

"Why are you pushing this so much, Sakura-chan?" He whines in his usual childish manner, rubbing his arm.

She feels her demeanor falter, "I feel kinda bad now...what's the harm? I can't help anyway I'm a girl, other girls won't approach if they see us together."

 **~OOOOO~**

So on the second night Naruto stands in front of Sai with his hands at his hips and a resolute determination at only appears on the battlefield.

"You look constipated."

His eye twitches and he ignores him for his own sake. "We're taking you out! Well...me really, Shikas out" he grumbles shifting his eyes then snapping them back to Sai, "but we're going out. I'm gonna help you try to find a girlfriend, you clueless bastard!" He exclaims with wavering confidence.

"Aren't you the one that needs a girlfriend? You are desperate for attention all the time." He says with fake pleasantry and Naruto grits his teeth. Who the hell is this bastard to refuse his help! That's he's offered. From the good of his heart!

Without moving an inch he smiles. "Or do you not like girls? It makes sense I suppose with you being dickless and obsessed with Sasuke-san." The only reason Dickless manages to land a hit is because he's thrown off by the pillow to the face.

 **~OOOOO~**

Finding Sai a girlfriend is easier said than done. So much easier said, _so_ much. Naruto encourages from the sideline, with drink in hand to get him through the evening, (on the presumptuous bastard of course) and persuading him to go up to girls and say something with a swollen lip and forming bruise. That's the easy part. The thing with Sai, if one notices, is that he is very literal.

He goes up to girl number one, repeats the compliment Naruto told him to tell and then fake smiles while she stutters. Then he walks away.

"What!? what happened?" Naruto asks.

"I told her she was beautiful."

"-and?"

"I left."

"Did she say anything?" He asks baffled.

"No, she turned red and looked like you that one time I walked in on you-"

"Okay-okay Sai, you asshole you're supposed to continue the conversation."

"I am? What do I say?"

Girl number two is a tall hot blonde that Sai has no chance with but Naruto figures he might as well get some amusement out of it. He makes sure to stress the act of keeping a conversation going. He goes up to her, compliments her and she smiles. She invites him to sit down and the skies part, angels swoop down and bless the retarded bastard with the gift of this girls interest.

It lasts about two minutes and then she makes a panicked face, tosses her drink in his face and almost runs out of the building.

Naruto closes his eyes and hangs his head as he hears the scuff of Sai's sandal approaching, he catches a peek of his confused expression over his forearm.

"What now?"

"I'm not sure she asked me what I did for a living."

Naruto scoffs, she was probably just going after money anyway. Girl number three Naruto likes. They don't get along at all. Not reallly surprising, again not everyone can handle Sai. Sai blurts his usually bullshit, offends her and gets a knee to the balls.

Girl number four is trashed drunk. Sober girls are much more picky, Naruto figures it's time for a change of direction. She hits it off with Sai and snuggles up to him. She smiles at him and Sai smiles back. It's still fake as ever but it's a start.

Then she almost trips standing up and projectile vomits on Sai. That alone makes Naruto's night, his week probably. That ends the session and from start to end it lasts forty-five minutes, all in all he expected less. Upon returning to the inn Sakura winces at the smell and grimaces at them. Naruto is a bit more than buzzed than he should be.

"There's always next time" she smiles in an tempt to lighten the mood. Naruto makes him sleep in the corner near the open window.

 **~OOOOO~**

Shikamaru returns in a good mood the following day as the Hokage says her cordial goodbye to the Kazekage. Naruto is much more expressive with his goodbye and while the Kazekage is reserved Naruto's almost overbearing positive energy has its effect on him. Sakura is surprised when Gaara wishes her a happy birthday.

He's civil with Shikamaru, who keeps a straight face even though there's a smudge of red on the apples of his cheeks.

The trek back is just as easy with Naruto trying to coach Sai with tips but mostly him trying to strangle him.

The Hokage finds this amusing. Naruto finds it offensive. Sakura inserts her own feminine opinion, modified for Sai of course which is almost not helpful at all in its entirety.

Shikamaru is physically forced in the middle between everyone but tries to stay out of it as much as he can but Naruto and Sakura are adamant about dragging him into it since he has a 'girlfriend' and all. Shikamaru doesn't have one, thank you. And even if she was he has no clue in hell how he even got her. He's obviously not the guy to ask.

Sai retreats into his notes and book for an answer. Sakura and the Hokage talk about medical stuff the rest don't understand, and Naruto is his same all-over-the-place self. Shikamaru can only imagine what it's like being on Team Kakashi, or Seven for that matter.


	3. Chapter 3

**A SLATE BEST KEPT BLANK**

Sai is an asshole. My version of Naruto is slightly more indulgent. This is for the most part centered around smut :)

* * *

 **02.**

Sakura's birthday is anticipated. Not that it's going to be a huge celebration but it gives everyone a chance to take a break. Sai hasn't had many 'life' experiences, going to a party is one of them. So he finds himself at Naruto's doorstep an hour and a half before with gift in hand.

Naruto comes to the door peeking his head around the corner, his wheat colored hair is wet and dripping threads of water like liquid gold.

"I was in the shower" he grumbles.

Sai smiles, "I apologize for interrupting your biweekly shower."

Naruto glares and tries to swing at him but almost drops his towel in the process. Fumbling to keep his dignity he snaps, "What? What do you want?"

"I've never been to a party," Naruto thinks about slamming the door in his face but Sai merely puts his hand on his wet chest with a distinct wet slap and pushes his way in. Naruto looks down the hall both ways frowning, slamming the door behind him.

"Sure come right in, Sai" he mutters sarcastically, he should get more credit for the bullshit he deals with.

"I did" he says confused and Naruto has to remember he's in a towel.

"I'm surprised you have any muscle definition, with that orange jumpsuit I was under the impression you were just eating too much ramen."

Naruto grips the towel at his hips and catches his dark eyes floating over his body. Fighting the urge to strangle him and simultaneously feeling too bare in front of him he looks to the small gift bag.

"What did you get her? Is it better than mine?" He steps forward with his grating voice with the intent to swipe it but Sai steps out of the way.

"It's not for you, it's for Ugly."

"Do yourself a favor and don't call her that today"

"Why?"

"It's her birthday and calling her ugly...actually, never mind. I think she likes being called Ugly. _Especially_ from you."

"I was hoping so, the name suits her well, don't you think?" he says with a curious tilt of the head. Naruto's anger dissipates as Sai falls into his trap and he internally rubs his hands together and chuckles maniacally.

"Are you going like that?"

"Yes" He makes a face. Naruto gets close enough to sniff him.

"You don't need a shower. Here." He tosses clothes at his face and hopes for the best. "Should I be wearing this? You don't ever do laundry and you have a hideous sense of style, speaking of which do you only have one hideous orange jumpsuit or do you have multiple pairs of the same hideous one?" It's always been something he's been meaning to ask.

"You're the one walking around in crop tops all the time! That's ridiculous! What kinda ninja walks around in crop tops!? And I do do laundry it just gets lost with all the other laundry I have to do!...You're so damn lucky the floors are wet and I only have a towel on" he growls and glares even though he's still dripping in the middle of his dingy kitchen.

"I don't think that would've made a difference anyway" he says so mildly that Naruto sees crimson and swears he feels his blood pressure rising through the roof. Sai will be the death of him, not a mission or gods forbid a war but the smug arrogant bastard. When he slams the bathroom door he hears a picture frame crash to the floor and gets a bang on his paper thin walls from the neighbors.

 **~OOOOO~**

Sai waters Naruto's plants while he sits in a towel for thirty minutes, air drying while watching some show. He laughs like a simple minded moron at the jokes that Sai understands but doesn't find funny, but then again he doesn't find much humor in anything.

Besides pushing people.

Sai knows he is good at pushing people and it seems to be an effective way to get a reaction out of them, anger, annoyance sometimes even tears if he's lucky. It all goes towards his everlasting research. In the beginning Sai unintentionally offended people in miscommunication of genuine communication. But now, now (for the most part) he does it on purpose.

(But no one needs to know that.)

Naruto also makes him throw out his garbage. By the time Naruto moves there's ten minutes left before the party starts and if there is one thing Sakura dislikes it is tardiness. So, Naruto moves as if a fire has been lit from under his ass. Sai sits on the couch and watches. He barely has his head in his shirt when he trips.

 **~OOOOO~**

Although simple the dress does wonders for Sakura. Even though it's not a super fancy dinner she enjoys getting out of her work uniform when she can. She lets it slide when Sai and Naruto show up a bit late and hugs them both. Naruto doesn't look her in the eye blushing brightly as they both hand her her gifts. She swears she spots the smallest sparkle of drool on the corner of Naruto's mouth.

She must admit they both look quite _mature_. She has to snap herself out of it, she knows how they act on a day to day basis. Naruto is loud and boisterous with his greetings and Sai moves to whichever empty seat he can find. Sakura can't help but think of _him_ and sighs, she can't let _him_ control her thoughts. Especially when her friends are gathered to celebrate her.

The whole gang gathers and she has one of the greatest nights she's had in awhile. They start with dinner at Sakura's favorite restaurant where they grill the food right in front of them. They laugh and crack jokes and as always Naruto and Sai are a little slow and everyone enjoys giving them a hard time for it. Having moved out recently they move the party to Sakura's home choosing to walk together from the restaurant under the twilight lilac star streaked sky.

Ino swings around a streetlight and Naruto and Kiba engage of some kind of bragging contest. Choji and Shikamaru stroll lazily, the former still munching on left overs. Somewhere behind her Lee can't help but challenge Neji to a piggyback race, of which the answer is an adamant no. Hinata is a calm presence at her side and she marvels at how much she has come out her shell. The summer night is hazy and warm with fragments and pieces of different conversations rising together into the air alongside the chirp of the cicadas. On nights like these peace almost seems real.

And then, it all goes it hell.

Sakura counts four different people who gift her bottles of liquor. Alongside what the rest brought its more than enough for the night. That's when it starts to get blurry.  
It starts out nice and slow, reminiscing around her couch and scattered on the carpeted floor with music playing in the background. They share laughs and tiptoe around certain subjects as well as what they're doing now.

And then someone hands Lee the liquor.

Kiba and Naruto are both enablers and exploit Lees low tolerance. Lee starts dancing on Sakura's nice couch, but she knocks him on his ass _real_ quick. She spends her time talking and giggling with Hinata and Ino. Neji even enjoys semi friendly conversation with Shikamaru and Choji.

Sai finds himself in a conversation between Tenten and Shino about all things, weapons. He listens to their conversation and decides to indulge and drink. He feels it almost uncomfortably warm down his throat as it coats his belly. He almost winces. It's not long before he feels his face growing hot. He also doesn't know when to stop. He enjoys this feeling, its relaxing sitting here with these people and he watches them argue back and forth with almost childlike interest.

"What do you think?" She asks her two buns are messy and falling apart but flattering, framing her face and the pink tone her skin has taken up compliments her shining big brow eyes. Tenten arches her eyebrow at him good humoredly, catching him staring. He could paint her, he thinks.

"A bow and arrow, an axe is under appreciated but a bow requires more accuracy if one is going to be any good wielding it. I've seen a metal arrow head with hooks that spring out upon hitting its target, embedding in flesh.." He smiles and he's mildly surprised he said that without slurring especially since his tongue feels so foreign in his mouth. Tenten jumps up in victory and surprises everyone.

"I told you!" She exclaims. It seems as if Shino rolls his eyes. Through his glasses if it's possible. Sai thinks about asking Shino about his ability, a Root member has powers like his when he realizes his cup is empty. Excusing himself he pours himself a glass of one of the random bottles scattered about.

"You might wanna be careful there" Sakura says, "mixing alcohols can be bad."

"It's all the same, no?"

"Yes, but some work better together than others."

She stands against the sink, having letting her hair down it bounces and under the light it's baby pink color shines. Her eyes are greener and she is radiant in a way she usually isn't.

Sai drinks from the glass regardless disliking the dry taste of the strong effecr. Dog Boy always says that one does not drink for the taste but for the effect. "Thanks for the gift, it's really nice."

"You were interested in it while in Suna" he says looking to her again and catching the barest smile on her shiny pink lips.

"Still, thanks." The geode on the pendant reminds him of her eyes and it compliments her anyway.

"Hey _Ugly_ c'mon over, Nara brought board games", Ino's voice calls over.

The speed with which she spins is surprising with the amount of liquor in her system and shakes her fist at Ino. "Shut up, Pig!"

"What are we, eighty?" Kiba says and gets an elbow to the gut. Shikamaru rolls his eyes. They end up playing a board game, not even realizing it takes up hours of their time.

That's when they realize no one's been monitoring Lee that the game takes a turn. It starts with him acting out ice skating and thinking it a good idea to climb onto her coffee table and almost pretend to be dancing. Kiba laughs so hard he starts crying. Then he jumps from the table and gets on the counter making up more charades as he goes. No one thinks to stop him.

Sai can't laugh like them but it feels oddly pleasant to know everyone else is having fun.

Then Lee's fun turns into destruction. He keeps shouting about youth and how wonderful it is as he throws off his belt and unbuttons his shirt. It takes three people to control him and Neji is punched in the face. Even in the chaos of the situation some of them can't stop laughing, but they decide to call it a night as Neji and Shino take his arms and Kiba and Choji take his legs. Sakura seems all too willing to throw everyone out of her house.

"Naruto, take Sai home" Sai looks at her almost questioningly.

"Whaaaa why am I in charge of babysitting"

"He can't walk straight" he looks down at his feet and notices how the floor seems to sway out from under him.

"Ah man why you gotta be such a lightweight" he whines. Sakura smiles at Naruto and plants a kiss on his cheek. He fights a grin but silently beams. "Fine" he sighs dramatically.

They keep bumping shoulders with Naruto's hand wrapped around his bicep guiding the way. Sai feels light and like he's buzzing on the molecular level but his feet keep disobeying him. Naruto stops suddenly in the middle of the dark street and Sai's face almost meets the ground.

"Wait! Where do you even live?!" He slurs. Sai repeats his address and Naruto stops.

"I don't know where that is."

Sai looks both ways trying to pinpoint their location in his delayed brain. "Uhm.." he scrunches his eyes in thought. Naruto groans and guides them in the direction of his home.

"Lezz go."

He doesn't remember walking. He doesn't know how but he ends up in Naruto's home again. Naruto dumps him on the couch on top of some clothes and he groans at how it digs into his back.

Naruto turns to him as he slides almost bonelessly off the couch. Sai sits on his floor blinking off into the distance and Naruto knows he is too drunk for this. He hardly deals with people more wasted than himself...on the rare occasion he does drink.

"You're lucky you're sleeping on the couch. If it were up to me you'd be on the floor." Naruto slurs, turning up his nose at him. Sai looks at him and almost stumbles to his feet. He blinks at Naruto and tilts his head.

Naruto looks back at him unsure as Sai steps into his personal space. "Do you like Sakura?" Naruto feels the need to ask looking at his face from his too black wide eyes to the slope of his nose and proportionate lips. His skin is smooth and a pale he has never quite seen on anyone else and up close he realizes he has a thin vertical scar curving around the angle of his jaw. A drunk flush blooms across his nose and cheeks. Sai tips his head again his eyes curve as he smiles in that empty way of his. "Why, are you jealous?" He goads.

Black and pale Sai is the opposite of Naruto, light freckles scatter like stars over the bridge of his nose and cheeks and his skin is unmarred besides his whisker marks. But by far his most attractive feature is his vibrant sky blue eyes. His lips are a peach color and Sai catches Naruto's caramel lashes graze over his scar and his throat when he swallows.

" _No_ , you guys just seemed awful chatty is all" he crosses his arms and looks to the side. "I'd never be jealous of you" he says trying to cover whatever vulnerability he exposed Sai to. He backs off a bit and flashes him another standard plastic smile.

"It's not like she would date you anyway, even if they're not much even Ugly has standards" he says walking around him to look through his cupboards until he finds what he's looking for. Naruto sees red and lunges at him, missing and stopping to watch the world spin. He keeps himself from hurling and fumes as he toes off his shoes and plops down on his couch to flip on the tv. Sai returns with a drink in hand and Naruto is indignant.

"Where did you even find that? And who said you could drink it!" He swipes the bottle from the asshole and chugs it, he's going to need it to get through the night.  
"Hidden in the cupboard back in the corner." So that's where he had put it, he had hidden it too well.

Sai sips it relishing in the warm and slightly out of control feeling. He's only ever been intoxicated twice, both were on missions and because he found himself in situations where it was needed. He realizes it's as close as he can get to a feeling without his mind confusing him, with alcohol his mind is too impaired to do anything beyond go with the ease of the pleasant sensation. He wonders if it even really counts as feeling. He removes his shoes somewhat sloppily and crosses his legs and sits neatly beside Naruto. His teammate huffs and drinks a little more.

On the tv plays an action movie with explosions and drugs and extortion. This catches Sai's interest fully until the main hero rescues the girl and they kiss while the whole world seems to crumble below them. Sitting in the dark with only the bluish light cast from the tv Sai then turns his head to Naruto. He can see him in his peripheral and blatantly ignores him.

"How many people you kissed?" He asks. He never asked and with the topic continuously coming up it rouses his curiosity. Sai also knows it's a quick way to incite Narutos fury, it adds a flavor of amusement in his every day to day life.

"That's none of your business." Sai notices his fingers fidgeting slightly around the bottle.

He's asking the wrong question he realizes. "Who?"

He turns red and grunts, not moving his eyes from the tv. Spot on. Sai knows who it is he's heard it in passing before, it's some grand joke. "That's not important" Dickless mutters too moodily with emotion Sai does not grasp.

Naruto looks older than what he acts. The blue cast gives shadows and life to his face that make him look like a different person altogether. The occasional explosions makes oranges and red scatter across his face, giving his blue eyes more vibrancy. Sai's curiosity at his reaction outweighs the potential for a beating.

"Was it Sasuke-san?" He feels the rush of satisfaction as Dickless seems to short circuit, scrunching his nose and creasing his brow, turning pink and then red. It takes a second to register that his body is being pushed against the pile of clothes on the end of the couch and Dickless has him by the collar and his face is contorted with rage.

"I'm warning you, you stupid fucking asshole. _Shut_. _Up_." The anger is hot and he finds himself staring down those dark eyes, shifting his gaze between each eyeball to search for some sort of spark of comprehension but as usual finds nothing. Staring at Sai is like looking at a black hole or the starless night sky, you get nothing back in return. He cracks his usual smile, with just an ounce of self satisfaction bleeding through.

"So that's a yes?"

Naruto hates Sai. He hates him he's infuriating and so damn stupid and he's so smug. He goes to strike the damn smugness of the bastards face when Sai flips them. Naruto finds himself falling off the couch, he lands with a thud and the massive pile of clothes falling over them like an avalanche.

"Don't worry, Dickless I think it's common knowledge by now" the self satisfied voice comes and Naruto feels a condescending pat to his upper chest as the room spins and his anger fades leaving him drained. He's too drunk for this. He'll kick his ass in the morning. Really fucking hard.

"You don't ever know when to shut up, do you?" He groans and looks up to Sai sitting on him and his dirty shirts all over his face.

"Is he the only one?" He asks with a blurry tilt of the head. Naruto swallows waiting for the stuck-behind-frosted-glass sensation to go away and peels a shirt off his face.

"Why do you wanna know so bad? And get off!" He's not in the mood to entertain this.

"Tell me and I'll move." Sai shifts so he sits more comfortably and less on his own leg as Naruto looks up to the ceiling. His eyes are glazed and his head still echoes with pain. Naruto sighs, relaxing deceivingly before quickly jerking Sai off and sending him tumbling off.

"A girl or two, there are you happy? Now leave me alone" he says and sits up groaning, looking at his living room.

"You're cleaning up the mess" Naruto mumbles and rolls onto his feet, slamming the bathroom door behind him.

The tv calls Sai's attention as the girl slaps the man for having a side affair with a spy.  
He can't help but think it's stupid. Picking up the clothes scattered about Sai wobbly makes his way to Dickless' room which is messier than the rest of the apartment and plops them down in a corner. His stomach lurches with his movements so he stops, he needs to sit down.

Dickless will get over it. Turning on the fan and plopping down on his bed he takes off his shirt and melts into the bed. The sheets are rumpled but it's comfortable and cool. Facing the windows he stares drowsily at the moon blinking once then twice before letting his eyes slip closed, ignoring the sound of the bathroom door opening and its silence afterwards. It takes a minute before he hears Dickless' noise of irritation.

"Sai, get out of my bed!" He ignores him.

"Sai!SaiSaiSaiSai!" He chants and snatches a pillow and throws it at him. With a soft sigh Sai turns to face him, one hand tucked under the pillow as the other reaches out next to him and pats the sheets invitingly. He doesn't say a word. Dickless looks less than pleased and Sai can't bring himself to care because he's too comfortable and he seems too sleepy. At Naruto's indignation he turns again and ignores him. After a solid minute he groans and stomps over to the bed and snatches the pillow out from his head.

"Fine. But you're not taking my pillow. Prick." He doesn't say anything choosing to get more comfortable.

"You're doing my laundry. It's the least you owe me." Naruto frowns and crosses his arms looking over to Sai's white back. He pouts and glares at the ceiling when he doesn't get a yes.

"Actually I think I'm going to need more since I'm watching your drunk ass." He frowns at the ceiling. "You owe me ramen and and you're cleaning my apartment. And you're replacing the bottle!"

"No I'm not."

"Yes you fucking are" he growls.

The speed that Sai turns with is enough to jolt him. "As much as I am enjoying you getting your panties in a bunch, I would like to get to sleep. Good night, Dickless." And with that Sai turns to fall asleep leaving him sputtering like the fool he is.

 **~OOOOO~**

He doesn't know what he dreams about. All he knows it that when he wakes up with his heart thundering and the slightest sweat on his skin he's ready to fight a war that isn't but there. The moon is staring him in the face and he's pretty sure he's still drunk. With his vision swimming for a second his mouth cries for water. Sai spots a glass of water next to Dickless and is careful to lean over his sleeping form and down half of it and retreat.

His hand ghosts to his chest where his heart beats almost painfully and the blood is in his ears and he can't pinpoint why he's so distraught. _This_ , he remembers, this is the exact reason he stays away from liquor.

Dickless rouses and smacks his lips behind him. "Huh? Wha?" He slurs and blinks blearily.

"What are you doing up? It's two thirty in the morning"

"I was thirsty. Go back to sleep, Dickless." Naruto grumbles incoherently at the name as Sai goes to lay back down. He turns on his side and can't help but watch the steady breaths of his chest. His focus is broken when Naruto turns on his side and sleepily blinks at him, his eyes barely slitted past a needle point.

"What?" H grumbles in a sleep worn voice.

Sai doesn't say anything and watches him relax and shift. Even with his eyes closed he radiates a calm that's enough to distract. Dickless is so...clueless? Unaffected? In his child like ways it seems at least. There's something so distinct about him that Sai can't identify and his peacefulness leaves Sai with traces of irritation? Confusion? He doesn't understand but he knows he likes it? And dislikes that he likes it. Which is even more confusing. Hes like a moth to a flame, but one from a very far distance. But a very curious moth nonetheless. Sai's curiosity has always landed him in questionable situations but has always left him with more knowledge even if it's not always positive.

"Zai stop starin' 's weird 'm tryna sleep" he mumbles and cracks one eye open.

"Naruto" Sai says and it captures his attention fully because he doesn't ever say his name, he either speaks directly to him or calls him Dickless. He doesn't realize just how close he is so when he looks at him there's an arms length of space between them and Naruto can't move.

His body is much too close and the barest not-touching it's enough to send a surge through him. He feels heat rush to his face he can feel the warmth coming off Sai's skin. He thinks he's dreaming.

Naruto catches those obsidian eyes watching him. Eyes that remind him of someone else. With the thick shadows cast across his face and his dark features he looks so much like _him_ to husband sleepy brain that his rising breath gets caught in his throat. He doesn't say anything for a couple of seconds and the shadow moves an inch closer, brushing their lips with just the barest touch. Naruto snaps out of it and still finds himself looking at Sai's very Sai-ish face and swallows.

His heart thunders in his chest and he stares wide eyed. Still Sai doesn't turn away and keeps staring. He must be dreaming. His throat seems to close.

"What are you doing" he whispers, he means to sound threatening because Sai is disrupting his sleep but it's raspy and small and Naruto can only truly pay attention to the feel of shared breaths against his mouth. It's a joke it must be because that's all Sai ever does, joke with him in his own twisted morbid way.

Sai doesn't say anything and he looks like a stature all cold and flawless and with too black eyes. It's enchanting in an artistic way that Naruto is too oblique to articulate. It's wrong he registers somewhere in the back of his mind but bumped to the bottom of the list behind being hyper aware of how they're positioned and the feel of fabric against his skin and he's hot and if he breathes too loud it's gonna break the odd spell of two thirty in the morning where not everything is real and nothing can be trusted not his own eyes and certainly not the person in front of him.

Sai's face come closer until his lips meet his skin and Naruto can understand what's happening but he can't process it correctly. The bastard pulls away, invading the space on his pillow, expecting, and still almost as if he doesn't breathe. He stares him down and Naruto waits for him to talk, to offend, but he does it again, a gentle press of the lips and he licks Naruto's lip gently and the thoughts rattle around in Naruto's brain because it doesn't make sense. Naruto feels himself leaning in and molds his lips to Sai's, opening his mouth. He doesn't stick his tongue inside but he's distracted by the awkward movements of the surprisingly warm lips on his own.

He doesn't know if it's Sai or his own adrenaline but he's a quick learner. Soon he's moving in tempo with Naruto the movements more fluid, dancing with each other languid and exhilarating. Naruto doesn't know how but his mind is fuzzy and it must still be the sleep and alcohol. The next time he opens his mouth and they breathe the same air he slips his tongue inside into his pliant mouth and Sai's hand explores his waist. He had forgotten how good it felt to have another body so close.

Sai tastes like liquor, he can still smell it between them. He knows he should stop but kissing leaves him light headed and the feeling is intoxicating in a way alcohol isn't.

Its _wrong it's wrong it's wrong_ he knows because Sai is _Sai_ and he despises Sai with every fiber of his impatient being but his mind glitches and combusts when his hand brushes up his side tickling him and he tips his head letting Naruto fit their mouths together like puzzle pieces. His blood rushes from his face and his brain to another head and need clouds his mind. He feels the muscle beneath his finger tips and the growing pulsing between his legs screams for attention.

He's about to push him away because this is Sai's fucked up humor. Then he kisses Naruto down his neck and the sensation of it sends any possible forming thoughts scattering.

Pushing his face further into his neck Naruto groans when he bites, Sai ghosting his hands across Naruto's broad chest. Sai has scars across his body, it's no surprise everyone in their profession does but Naruto is one of the lucky few that don't due to his healing abilities. He feels his mouth move to form words (he's not sure if they're of protest or not) but nothing comes out when Sai maneuvers his hand into his pants and begins stroking him slowly.

His lips descend on his jaw and Naruto reaches for his thighs because he doesn't know what to do because his heart is louder than his thoughts so he hangs onto the material on Sai's thighs like a lifeline.

The hand wraps around him again and his conscious thought leaves him, evaporating into the still darkness and leaving behind firing synapses that can't communicate a single word. The roughness of his hand with his fluid motions force a moan up and out of his mouth. A pale hand runs its thumb over his head smearing the precum down his shaft.

He moans and he bites his lip and his hips move on their own and he feels the asshole staring at him. Even with so much nothingness in his eyes they almost seem to burn him with their intensity. Sai shifts and moves down and he snaps out of his daze as panic wells within him. His eyes go wide and he tenses sitting up on his elbows. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but only a groan spills out when Sai's warm wet tongue licks up, following the vein and the ceiling blurs for a moment. Naruto catches Sai's tongue swirling around the head before he watches himself disappear into that mouth.

He stops in his tracks and he groans and his eyes flutter shut. He can't look. Falling back on on his pillow he stares stares at the ceiling and the rush of his wet mouth and alcohol through his veins strikes pleasure through Naruto, it's jarring and it leaves him unable to form coherent words. He grips Sai's hair hard and feels the bite of his nails dig into his thighs. Tossing his head back he feels his release approaching, he breathes hot and heavy as he catches Sai's eyes between his thighs, one hand massaging his balls and the other digging into his thigh.

Sai swallows and hums around him and the coil in his belly snaps and Naruto grips his black hair as he comes, crying out loudly and letting its intensity smother him. Naruto is blissfully blank and with a dazed look Naruto looks down at Sai's steady gaze on his stomach. His breathing is coming under control as he lets his head drop against the pillow.

"...-warn you. I just-you...yeah" he pants in place of an actual explanation.

Instead of answering Sai scoots up next to him grabs his hand and guides it to his still weeping erection.

"Your turn" is all he says watching his focus ricochet around his head. Naruto is not prepared. He thinks of ignoring him (serves him right for being an asshole).

Sucking it up, and refusing to look him in the eye, Naruto pays attention to the body that's almost pressed against him. He can't help but look up and watch in a somewhat detached high fascination as he catches his dark eyes becoming dazed and his breathing speeds up. Naruto dips his face against his neck listening closely to the way his breathing hitches and how he exposes more of his neck to him, arching into his touch. Hidden in the curve of his neck Naruto's eyes wander down to the bastards flexing body reaching for its own release.

He swallows and looks down to his hand wrapped around Sai taking in the hot and heavy feel of him in his palm and recreating what Naruto likes. Sai is silent but he moves eagerly and Naruto can't help but stare because he's pretty sure he's in some alternate universe where this is happening. When he comes he tenses and thrusts erratically. Sai can't do anything besides let the power of his orgasm wash over him and when his mind comes back to him he's staring at Dickless' sharp collarbone.

He doesn't say anything and he feels a deep seated relaxation sweep over him. His eyes feel heavy with sleep. There's complete silence between them and Sai's no stranger to sharing someone's bed so he does what he always does, he rolls onto his back and usually one of the parties would leave but this is the moron's apartment and he's too tired so he just lays there.

Sai thinks he's learned something about pushing Naruto-looking over he's blinking at the ceiling but there is a languidness in the lines of his body that is telling- more specifically where his threshold lies. He considers this rather off course experiment somewhat of a success. Wiping the sweat off his forehead Sai turns his back on Naruto's wide eyed expression and lets the cooling breeze of the fan finally drift him off to his needed blank sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A SLATE BEST KEPT BLANK**

 **AN:** im sorry I'm trash its been a month.

* * *

 **03.**

Sai knows he doesn't understand others and that extends to reading others as well as understanding boundaries or social norms. But socially delayed or not there are some things he does understand.

Sai knows he's crossed a boundary.

Even though he pushes Naruto solely for his enjoyment he knows his foot crossed a border last night.

He can tell by the way Naruto acts in the morning.

Sai wakes with the sun streaked in his eyes through Naruto's broken blinds and the summers early morning humidity sticking to skin. Warmth seeps bone deep and he sighs in relaxation. A headache also sits deep behind his eyes. He stirs and stretches and when he opens his eyes he finds Naruto staring right at him, face burning red from his forehead right down his neck.

Blue eyes dart away quick.

"Good morning" Sai says blandly.

"Uhhh...y-yeah" Sai narrows down that Naruto feels awkward, he can tell that much by the flustered face and blatant refusal to make any eye contact.

"I-uhhh...do you.."

"I'm going to use your shower" Sai states because the dried sweat and body fluids are uncomfortable in Konoha's quickly rising summer heat. He ignores Naruto's incomprehensible stuttering as he rolls out of bed and disappears out of his room, bare feet quiet against the floor.

Naruto gawks at his retreating back. Sai really has no shame! He only relaxes in the slightest when he hears the rhythm of his running shower through the ancient pipes in his apartment.

Sweaty hands grip the sheets as he gazes blankly at the ceiling with wide eyes. _He kissed Sai. **He fucking slept with Sai.**_

He tugs at his hair and berates himself even though his hangover is killer. He realizes dried cum is on his stomach and winces.

 _'I was drunk and I was horny and Sai was just there'_. It's been awhile since he's been with anyone, and that kind of tension builds up, naturally. So really it all makes sense that this would happen logically speaking, of course. Right.

' _That's it, I was drunk. Okay, yeah Uzumaki. Get it together...Wait!...this is Sai I'm talking about he's clueless when it comes to anything! It's not that big of a deal...yeah! This can be...fixed. Right?'_

He breathes and his mind drifts to practice and the fact that he can't quite escape Sai even if he wanted to. Sometimes he's Naruto's unwanted shadow which is obnoxious on its own but the biggest issue is his mouth. He has a tendency to speak his mind and it never works out for him. Naruto can only imagine what it would do for him. He deflates as this realization undoes his confidence. He gets a flashback to Sai's straining body under his hands, and he shivers when he realizes some parts of him are definitely acquainted with Sai. He has practice today, he's going to have to face Sakura.

' _Oh gods not Sakura.'_ Her pretty face, nice smell and body pushes its way into his mind and Naruto wants to run for the hills. His body is giving him all kinds of mixed signals, it must clearly be confused. Naruto rakes his hands down his face roughly and yanks the sheet up with him completely. He probably gave the bastard a good eyeful. Pervert.

Sai is almost out as quickly as he enters and Naruto wants to glare daggers but also not even look at him but also can't not look at him. He feels his body winding with tension as his teammate walks around his room picking up his clothes with a towel oh so casually around his waist. His towel! As if he lived in the place!

His ego screams maim him but his pride screams suppressitsurpressit- _people go to_ _therapy over this_ -and his shame says to curl in a ball and hide. His brain says kick Sai out while his legs tickle with the urge to run.

"Uhhh..." is the best he can come up with.

He makes a vague sound of acknowledgement.

"Do you...why...what the hell was that last night!?"

Sai looks confused. Naruto's patience is not so forgiving today, if it ever really is.

"We went to Ugly's birthday dinner. I had the rib plate which was a bit dry but overall quite good while Fatass cleared the restaurant of their lamb chops." Naruto rolls his eyes. "We went to Ugly's and played board games while everyone mixed alcohols, which she said was a bad idea. Lee-san cried over the beauty of youth and punched Hyuuga-san and a hole in Ugly's ugly wall. She was quite upset and sent us all home. You brought me here and I found the liquor you hid-"

"-I didn't-"

"We watched a movie with bad acting then I kissed you and gave you oral-"

"Okayokayokay" Naruto interrupts waving his hands as if dissipating the memory. He recoils at that. Goddamn, Sai is so fucking literal sometimes.

"That was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened." He shakes his head as he can't quite look him in the eye.

"Why?" Naruto is livid in a second.

"Have you ever done that with Sakura or Shika?" The dumbass shakes his head.

"Okay, that's why. Because we're teammates and they don't do that!"

"I have with past teammates" he says and Naruto snaps his turbulent blue eyes to regard his stupid face for a second.

"Who?"

"Other members of Root"

"Did you make it all up then? About not kissing anyone and stuff? Is this all a joke to you cus it's not funny!" He feels his fist curl into the sheets and his face prickle with heat because of all the shit Sai pulls this is definitely the worst. By far. It's humiliating.

"No, just because I slept with others does not mean I kissed them, that was strictly not allowed."

Naruto doesn't say anything and feels the anger leave him, partially, because Root is truly in another league of its own. Sai is so stunted and he's so oblivious to it. Naruto guesses that an outcome of being so emotionless is being so innocent (if he could even say that) and naive. He assesses Sai's unwavering passiveness and sighs.

"Why did you kiss me, then?" He almost cringes as he says it. He feels like such a girl. How does he end up in these situations?

"I was curious and you were there."

"That's it?" No joke, no intent to humiliate him no nothing? Relief washes through him.

"I know you are desperate for attention but I do not intend to marry you, Dickless", he says and Naruto feels himself burn red again.

"I didn't mean that and I wouldn't marry you! I can't even stand you."

"You seemed to like me plenty last night" Naruto feels the embarrassment spread down his face and neck like a rash.

"You did too!" Is the first thing that blurts out of his mouth. He almost hits himself.

"But I wasn't denying it" he says with his fake smile and scathing honesty and Naruto isn't sure comment makes him burn brighter.

"Shut up" he snaps lamely and once again he feels too exposed under Sai's too blank but heavy gaze.

"Don't tell anyone either. What happened between us stays between us" he snaps crossing his arms and glaring at him. Naruto will not be reduced to a blushing schoolgirl.

"Have you not come to terms with your own sexuality? With your obsession with the traitor I figured you would've accepted it by now."

"Oh my gods shut up!" He almost shrieks. He's already met the Sai patience-threshold for today. He doesn't think the red is going to leave his face.

"Get out. I have a hangover" he says because Sai is not one for subtlety.

"What should I tell Kakashi and Yamato sensei at breakfast?"

Shit.

 **~OOOOO~**

Gathering at Ichiraku's Naruto stuffs his face with ramen while everyone orders something else for once. He can't look at anyone in the eye so he settles for his food.

"So...how is everyone feeling on this fine and dandy morning?" Kakashi prompts with a knowing smile. Sakura grunts and sips the strongest coffee they offer. She has her hair up messily. Naruto cradles his head in between mouthfuls of steaming noodles, the sharp burn not slowing him down a bit. He glances at Kakashi unimpressed. Yamato looks over to Sai.

"And you?" Sai doesn't smile. His face shifts from the fake happiness to slightly disgruntled. Kakashi smiles smug.

"Ah, the days of our youth" he reminisces. Yamato's mouth curves with a small smirk over the edge of his tea cup.

"Do we have to practice today?" Naruto whines and his voice is husky and low giving Sai a flashback to last night. He blinks at his food to refocus on their conversation.

"Yes" Kakashi says with that smile and the happy curve of his eye.

 **~OOOOO~**

It feels like they know, everyone knows, like he has a flashing sign on his forehead. He's no blushing virgin (Jiraiya saw to that) but it feels like it. He feels Sai's presence at his side and it grates on his nerves like the prickling sensation of an arm fallen asleep. He smiles his same smile and it feels like the minute he opens his mouth Naruto will have to leave the Leaf, dye his hair and take a new name.

Even though Sakura's ball busting attitude is never gone she is much more subdued today. She spars against Kakashi and he goes a bit easy on her until she surprises him by packing a monster strong punch and splitting a tree in half. He barely misses.

"You oughta be more careful, Kakashi-sensei."

"Oh, what happened to my little cute students!?" He says horrified. She smirks and beams at his subtle compliment, hangover and all.

When it's Sai and Naruto's turn he can't focus, he uses his irritation as fuel because even as much as he can't look Sai in the face without turning into a tomato he still pisses him off with the fury of a thousand Sakuras. He's scrappy just barely missing and being a bit careless when attacking. It costs him because Sai lands an elbow to his solar plexus and Naruto feels the air forced out of him and the world falling, shaking and rebalancing with Sai crouched over him, kunai to the neck and knee on his chest.

He wears his small smug smile and Naruto frowns, brushing him off and accepting his offered hand. He yanks him down surprisingly hard beside him.

"Aw don't be a sore loser, Naruto" Sakura says somewhere to his left and comes to help them both up. Naruto smirks and yanks her down, pulling down Sai too again as he was getting his balance and they all quit and lay in the grass. Kakashi's shadow blocks out the sun, looming over them like death.

"I'm too hungover for this" Naruto mumbles, partially lying, cracking open an eye to his sensei.

"A proficient ninja can fight through a hangover." Kakashi says keeping his eyes on Naruto even though he doesn't return it, (Kakashi-sensei always has a weird way of knowing everything) so he closes his eyes.

Sakura groans and rolls over, ignoring him.

"I'll be a proficient ninja tomorrow, Kakashi-sensei" she yawns.

He sighs, "Alright. I'll make an exception just this once. I'll see you all tomorrow then." He doesn't even wait before proofing away to pull out his favorite book and just like that the sun's intense rays fall upon them, burning Naruto's retinas.

 **~OOOOO~**

Naruto practically runs towards town as soon as Kakashi-sempai leaves.

Ugly turns to him with a questioning look and a tilt of the head. The dark circles under her eyes are rather prominent and as an artist he must say it's a nice contrast against her skin even though the result is less than attractive. He's about to tell her when she asks,

"What happened? Did you guys fight again?" His warning echoes in his mind.

"Dickless can't handle the truth."

She seems displeased.

"...You two should really try to get along, for the sake of the team. Or at least...not try to offend him so often, in your case."

"I say the obvious. His lack of self control is not my problem"

"Sometimes the obvious is not meant to be said, that is subtlety you know"

"But why would one not state the obvious? It is direct and avoids confusion" all his books say it is best to be honest and vocal in situations as it will cause less miscommunication in an interaction.

"Because, sometimes it is not needed. And sometimes the situation is delicate. Like with Sasuke", she makes a face like she bit into a lemon, "we know he left the village but it doesn't help when you call him a traitor. Naruto really doesn't like it, and I don't either." Sai thinks he understands but he is still not sure.

Ugly leaves to the hospital with her shadow stretching far before her in the high sun's beam leaving Sai with nothing to do. He could go back to Root but it sounds less than appealing. He could draw but that doesn't appeal at all either. He contemplates whether going to seek out his other teammate is smart. Sai knows Naruto woke up feeling embarrassed and awkward but he seemed fine during their training session and breakfast. Perhaps he got over it? Sai doesn't think it's a big deal but Dickless has a tendency to be overdramatic and excessive with the smallest things. It's situations like these where Sai is truly at a loss.

 **~OOOOO~**

Perhaps it was too easy to go home. The doorbell chimes and Naruto freezes half way between his kitchen and bathroom. If he doesn't move perhaps the person will go away? He closes his eyes and whispers a silent plea to whatever holy or magical presence out there in the sky that it isn't Sai.

Anyone but Sai.

Staring holes into his old banged up door he waits a solid minute before relaxing in the slightest. They probably left. He breathes out a sigh of relief and is about to move again when two loud knocks come from his front door. There is no mercy. He can practically feel it. It's him.

Naruto knows better than to go over there so on impatient but quiet toes he holds his breath as if even the slightest of sounds would give him away and moves at a crawl into another room. He'll get the message, he'll leave. Rubbing his hands through his hair again he sighs and walks into his organized chaos of a mess bedroom and stops right in his tracks. His broken blinds rattle as a leg straddles the window ledge and a dark head maneuvers around the blinds.

"Hey! You're breaking and entering! That's a crime I could report you!"

"Have you tried getting locks? Anyone unwanted can easily walk in as they please. You might not have anothing worth of value but it's still a measure of safety" he says ironically serious and Naruto feels his brow furrow.

"I'm on the fifth floor I wouldn't need to if people just respected my privacy." He grits his teeth.

"But you don't respect anything", Sai stands in his messy room with something in hand and an honestly expectant face and Naruto feels a strong tick of irritation surge through him.

"I do! What do you even want anyway? Don't you have anyone else to bother?"

"No, that is why I am here. I would not willing spend any time with you if I had other options, don't you think?" He says it so nonchalant and Naruto doesn't quite understand if Sai is really really fucking oblivious or some kind master manipulator because someone like him shouldn't be able to mess with the average person's head so easily.

...Or maybe they should? It makes Naruto even more suspicious.

"I have read that gifts are ways to mend hurt or misunderstood situations, you seem to still have your panties in a bunch." He says handing over the bottle of liquor and a takeout container of ramen.

"Stop saying that!" He shouts and Sai thinks he just might if it stops him from screeching in that grating voice of his. He learned that phrase from Dog Boy and he quite liked it, it had yet to fail him and seemed to fit into a variety of everyday situations.

Naruto takes both exasperated and scurries into his kitchen to inhale the ramen and toss Sai angry glances every bite or so. He looks something like an angry beaver. With full cheeks he slurps the noodles and licks drops of broth off his face.

"Are you just going to stand there? You said you were going to clean and do my laundry."

"That would require a genin squad seeing how you live like a pig."

"Yeah you did! And I don't live like a pig I know where the important stuff is, that's all that matters."

Sai contemplates this.

"You bastard it's the least you owe me for taking care of your drunken ass even though you groped me!"

"You did too, and if I recall properly you weren't complaining."

Naruto blushes hard and stares at his ceiling. Why does he keep bringing it up! Why is he even putting up with this?!

He crosses his arms. "Fine. If you're going to be like that then just leave." Yes, if anything that sounds better.

"...I suppose I should repay you back for watching me while I was impaired" he gently taps his chin and Naruto instantly regrets guilting him into it. He should've just kicked the bastard out...but if he's going to get his chores done out of it he might as well wait. Naruto sighs and focuses on his ramen. Out of the corner of his eye Sai bends down to pick up a wrinkled shirt with a doubtful expression.

"That's clean" he clarifies and flops down on his couch and flips on the tv. Over the screen of his tv Naruto glances every once in awhile as Sai bends down almost mechanically and picks up his clothing, tossing all of it in a hamper.

His already ridiculously short shirt rides up with his motions and Naruto finds himself frowning at him. "You missed one over there" he says pointing to a sock draped over his kitchen chair. How did that even end up there?

From his living room couch he can now see his bedroom floor, which he hadn't seen in awhile. Clones do Naruto's laundry. Without the clothes on the floor it's easier to spot the milk cartons and ramen cups and candy wrappers. He hears the obnoxious laugh of his teammate drift out of his living room and Sai knows he's crossing another line of privacy but Dickless never respects boundaries and he figures this is the only chance he will get. Besides, he's just curious.

Under the guise of cleaning Sai rummages through Naruto's drawers. Most of the drawers hold nothing of value besides more rumpled clothes that he's not going to wash and knick knacks. He has pens and more wrappers and broken kunai and shiruken. He finds a walrus sleeping cap and stuffed animal stuffed in the closet. He finds certain _magazines_ in the highest shelf of his closet. He can help but feel pleased with himself. Nothing better than blackmail material.

On top of the wood dresser sits a picture of Umino-san who he hasn't actually met but has seen and heard of plenty from Naruto. The other is a facedown photo of what is undoubtedly of Team 7. They're shorter with rounder faces and the physical awkwardness that Sai has seen on other adolescents as the tell tale signs of puberty. Uglys forehead is if possible, bigger then than what it is now as she smiles with girlish giddiness. To her side is an even more obnoxious looking Naruto glaring at the traitor. The traitor is glaring off to the side and ignoring Naruto. It doesn't seem as if anything has changed. It's strange that the unpleasant person that practically radiates coldness at one point posed for this picture and has the other two wrapped around his finger. There's something of a disconnect there for Sai.

And of course, Kakashi senpai has both hands splayed over their heads looking just as happy as Sakura. The photo does nothing for Sai. Naruto's obnoxious laugh floats from the living room again and Sai places the frame up and next to the one of Umino-san, wiping off the finger print streaks across the glass.

In addition to wrappers there are crumbs everywhere and Sai throws open the windows and blinds to let out the inch of dust that has settled in the corners of the room. Sai doesn't realize how long he spends at Naruto's, cleaning the pig stye he calls an apartment. It takes about three hours to clean his room, do his laundry and clean the mess he calls a kitchen all the while feeling the occasional weight of his gaze over the tv and catching his constipated facial expression when he thinks Sai isn't looking.

He ends up standing at the living room doorway for almost a whole minute before Naruto forces himself to look up at him.

"I should give you credit Dickless, you are more disgusting than I originally thought."

Naruto's eyebrow twitches but his slouched posture doesn't change.

"Yeah well you're more stupid than I thought" he says childishly and Sai keeps his same easy going practiced expression.

"As are you."

"Get out" he crosses his arms and looks back to the screen. Sai would've stayed longer if only to annoy Dickless since that was his original intention but even he has a limit for such stupidities. Cleaning his apartment is not what he had in mind when he came over in the first place. Besides, Dickless seems to have gotten over the blushing and embarrassment of this morning. He acts no different than how he usually does. He's ten steps from the door when he hears,

"I'm hungry." He announces it as if Sai is supposed to handle it. "It's lunch time anyway." Naruto stuffs his feet in his sandals and tosses the remote on the couch.

Dickless isn't wearing his forehead protector anymore, forgotten on the beaten up coffee table so his hair springs free in every which way. Sai is puzzled at how quickly he changes moods sometimes so he just waits. He shooes Sai out, locks his door and bounces down the steps, at the landing he looks up to Sai, irritated expression and all.

"Sakura-chan's probably hungry" he says and it clicks, Dickless wants him to follow him. They're bringing food to Ugly.

"I do not think she will appreciate ramen" he offers trotting down the steps and stepping out into the strong heat of the afternoon with Naruto giving him what has been described as stink eye.

He squints with the sun in his eyes as Naruto crosses his hands behind his head and keeps his eyes at a slit. They walk in silence, the sounds of a busy city on all sides and the scuff of their sandals on dry dusty streets. They turn into a small mom and pop corner store where a bell chimes over head and a small elderly woman with kind eyes and wire rimmed glasses smiles at them from behind the counter. They grab pre made bento boxes and drinks and Naruto also makes sure to grab extras snacks, pawning it off on Sai and making him pay.

The plastic handles twist around his fingers almost rhythmically as they make their way over to the hospital. The hallways are mostly quiet with shoes squeaking off the polished tiles and the air conditioning making it quite cold. The natural light filters in through the windows and makes the waiting area glow an even brighter sterile white.

The receptionist behind the desk eyes their bags but gives them an easy smile regardless. "Sakura Haruno" Naruto flashes a sheepish and wide smile. The receptionist's eyes light with recognition and quickly phones for their teammate.

Sakura comes down relatively quickly and perks up upon seeing them, the blue hospital scrubs she wears are too big.

"We brought ya some food" Naruto chirps and she looks down to the bag and looks to the receptionist.

"I'm going on my lunch break, Tsumi" she calls.

The elder woman smiles and gives a small wave and Pinky leads them outside to the park across the street and secures a spot in the far corner away at a distance from people. She plops down ungracefully with a deep sigh and crosses her legs lazily. Naruto sits down next to her with his legs splayed out and his arms supporting him as Sai digs through the bag and hands each their designated bento box before sitting down neatly on their other side.

"Thank gods I thought you were gonna bring ramen. I'm starving, they've been running me ragged since I stepped in."

"There's nothing wrong with ramen Sakura-chan, it provides a lot of energy. Why is it so busy?" Naruto asks swallowing a roll whole.

"I'm not sure, people are idiots? A shinobi came in that had gotten a screw accidentally through his finger." She says shaking her head at the ludicrosity of the memory.

"And ramen has enough sodium to put down a medium sized cow" She adds.

"He screwed himself?" Sai says and Naruto can't help but laugh. Ugly rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her berry water.

"Yes, why are you two both here? Although this is kinda a nice surprise."

"What I can't just do something nice?" Naruto says with a grin.

"No", she deadpans, rice ball mid air and Naruto pouts.

"And you and Sai don't hang out on our off days, what gives."

"I was cleaning Dickless apartment when he suggested we bring you lunch" Sai answers.

She looks disbelievingly, "why were you cleaning his apartment?"

"He owed me for taking care of his drunk ass!" Naruto says a little too suddenly and Sakura looks at him oddly.

"He roped you into cleaning his apartment? Even I wouldn't do that"

"Why not?"

"Naruto is single handedly the most disorganized, messy person I know."

"I agree, it is not something I wish to do again. That reminds me Dickless", Naruto seems to look at him with vaguely concealed nervousness, "since you are a student of Jiraiya-san and Kakashi-senpai why don't you read Icha-Icha paradise instead of those magazines I found in your closet? It is quite portable and Kakashi-senpai has said great things about the series."

Sakura chokes on her food while Naruto turns scarlet and his eyes bulge out of his head, lunging towards Sai and spilling his food in the process. He tries to land a punch but Naruto is always too clumsy, too hot headed and too emotional. So much so it clouds his judgement and he punches a tree, embedding a deep splinter in his knuckle that Ugly refuses to take out.


	5. Chapter 5

**A SLATE BEST KEPT BLANK**

 **.04**

Things have been quiet. Too quiet. Naruto needs an outlet-work...but most importantly money to support his ramen habit. So naturally he goes to the Hokage.

At approximately noon Naruto gets clearance from the guards to barge into her personal office (it has it's perks to be the favorite.) With a single knock on the heavy wood doors he makes his way into the large oval sunlit office to find the village leader in the same position she's always been in; snippy, sake bottle besides her and swarming in paperwork.

She looks up at him with a sharp look, he grins and a flash of self loathing crosses her usually hard face as she sighs and leans back in her chair, her blond pigtails sliding over her shoulders as she taps her pen on paper.

"What do I owe what-I-know-will-become-unpleasant visit to?" The impatience molds back onto her face.

Naruto approaches and settles comfortably in the green chair across from her desk with a dramatic sigh. She just barely brushes her fingertips against her temple. A headache is inevitable with this one. She's going to need more sake.

"I'm bored."

"Go bother someone who isn't drowning in paperwork right now"

He pouts, "there's no missions what gives!?"

"Slow week"

"Why?" He takes a paper weight of the Hokage mountain off her desk and examines it carefully.

"Just because" she says curtly, watching him turn it over his hands before realizing what she's allowing and snatching it out of his hands.

"There's not even C rank missions!" He pouts dropping his face into his hand and glaring at her mahogany wood desk, looking reminiscent to a disgruntled cat with the whiskers stretching gently across his face.

"Naruto..." she warns because she does not have time for this. Running a large village is hard. Running a large ninja village is even harder. One with Naruto? Almost impossible. Tsunade curses the heavens for placing her in such a position, clearly she is not one for it. It's difficult enough to deal with village elders riding her ass on everything from the irrigation system to delicate national relations. The last thing she needs is Naruto coming up to her personal office and whining about work (she should place the brats photo outside her office with a 'do not allow to trespass' sign.)

He smiles suggestively, "are you sure you don't have anything higher?...maybe an A rank mission?" He wiggles his eyebrows as if this is their quiet little secret and Tsunade fights the irritation that gathers at her fingertips itching to strike. She remains passive and swivels her chair towards the view of her beautiful expansive city. She feels her lips curling up as she steeples her fingers together, appreciating her glossy red nails.

"Well, there is one mission that I have in mind. It's rather delicate so I can't just trust it to anyone..."

She basks in sweet sweet satisfaction as he practically radiates excitement. That should get him off her back.

 **~OOOOO~**

"What the hell is this?!" Naruto cries looking at the tall dusty room with bookshelves almost as tall as the walls themselves.

Shizune smiles walking inside and opening a window, coughing at the tornados of dust it creates. The light bounces off her dark hair and dust making it look like the particles are dancing in the air.

"This is the records room. It's a highly guarded secure area that contains different types of documents important to Konoha and it's citizens. Historical records, census information, certain mission reports, etc. Unfortunately things have been busy and it hasn't been up kept as well as it should be. You have to clean it." She smiles as Naruto's mouth drops open and he flails.

"But she said she had an important mission for me!"

"Yes. This is important, it's delicate information. Everything here is accounted for and if anything goes missing you will be held responsible. And there will be consequences." She smiles pleasantly again as he sputters.

"The records room is quite large, there's another section around that corner", she points and can't help but chuckle at Naruto's fallen expression. "Lady Tsunade thought it nice to have someone with you, since it is so large. I'll also bring you some dinner since this will be taking up the rest of the day."

Naruto feels his good mood dissipate like a snuffed out flame as he looks around the room. He should've known he'd been tricked, the hag is never nice for the sake of being nice.

"Oh, hello you're right on time" Shizune says perking up over his shoulder.

"Good afternoon, Shizune-san" a fake pleasant voice comes and Naruto's heart damn near plummets to the pit of his stomach. ' _Damn it_.'

"Sai-kun, nice to see you. You spoke to Lady Tsunade?"

"Yes, I am to assist Naruto-kun as he cleans."

"Alright, good luck. If you have any questions come find me and if you find anything missing alert us immediately. There are guards patrolling the hallway too."

She smiles one last time with Tonton trotting close to her side. Just before closing the door she narrows her eyes and looks to them both, "and no shadow clones, Lady Tsunade does not want a riot going up during business hours...Oh, and no funny business either." Naruto fate is sealed with the mockingly innocent click of the door. The asshole's attention turns to him the second the door closes. "Dickless", he greets with his ever present expression.

"Of all people..." he says under his breath throwing his hands up. Instead of looking at his stupid face he turns to the intimidating shelves of overpacked paperwork.

"How do we do this?" He says rubbing the bridge of his nose, it's something he sees the hag doing. He feels his body sag.

"Hokage-sama said to straighten out the overflowing folders. She mentioned a pile in the back room that needed to be sorted." Sai says as he disappears into said room. He comes back out not holding a pile but pushing a cartful of not just boxes but folders and loose sheets.

"Someone should be fired over this! How is this even allowed!" Naruto whines as a single document flies off the stack and flutters to the floor. ' _This isn't so unfair!'_ He crosses his arms and glares at all the work. Sai doesn't say anything but picks up a the first thing within reach examining it closely. A thoughtful look crosses his face.

"According to this Konoha has doubled in size in the last six years. There are currently three postal offices, sixteen grocers, three public parks-"

"Dude"

Black eyes snap up to him.

"Shut up." He blinks at him and almost immediately goes back to reading the document. Naruto looks at the box labeled 'Citizen Records' and removes the lid, being greeted to overflowing files. With half hearted effort he flips through the file like a book checking for any misplaced files and stuffs them on the nearest empty shelf at the bottom.

"Does that go there?"

"Beats me."

Sai nods once, still not having moved from his position. His dark eyes dart somewhere over his shoulder and he points around the corner from the first book shelf. 'Citizens Records' it says labeled at the top. Naruto almost groans.

"The average household has 1.5 children" he says watching Naruto struggle with the uncooperative wheels on the cart.

"That's stupid" he huffs. "How can you have half of a person?" he mutters as he pushes the cart around the corner. Forcing the files in wherever he can he glares as hard as he can, personally offended when they spill out.

Naruto focuses on stuffing the files together until he unsettles the dust so much it hangst thick like clouds around, settling in his nose and eyes making him sneeze. The clock ticks mockingly above. It's only been twenty minutes. He groans and shakes the dust off him, realizing he's been working in complete silence. With a turn of the head he finds Sai not only still reading but sitting at a small table, head bowed and dark hair covering his face as one hand cradles the book between his fingers.

"Hey! You're supposed to be helping me"

"Hokage-sama said to assist you by supervising you, she does not think you are competent enough to trust with such a large amount of confidential paperwork. She encourages you to think of this as early training for the Hokage mantle."

"You just don't want to help me"

"Ask her yourself" he looks up flashing his smile for but a second before going back to reading.

"If you're not going to help then just leave I can ask for someone else?"

"They would have sent Ugly but she's occupied at the hospital", he doesn't even bother to look up. Naruto groans and storms into the small side room. He gets halfway through one of the stacks when Sai comes in and sits down on a table in the corner nook.

"What do you want?" Naruto grumbles not bothering to look at him.

"I cannot supervise you if I'm not looking directly at you at all times."

The last thing Naruto wants is Sai's creepy eyes on him at all times.

"You can do that from the other room"

"I could but how would I know you were actually working?"

Naruto grits his teeth because he knows a fight in the records room of the city is going to have serious consequences. He doesn't particularly feel like dying at the hands of the hag today. At least not before taking her job.

"Because I am"

"I like my idea better"

Naruto thinks about ramen and what could be for dinner and being Hokage and-

"Dogs are the most popular pet in Konoha...that must be why people are so tolerant of you." That's it! He gets up and lunges.

"Alright give me that stupid thing!" He shouts as Sai puts his hand above his head, using the other to push Naruto's face away. Slipping from the ledge of the table Naruto falls, hitting their chests together and grunting when he feels something sharp prick his skin. He hears the dull muffled thud of a books falling to his side on carpeted floor. Because he's sitting on a table Sai finds himself looking up at the slow raining flutter of pages as if mocking them and Dickless' narrowed blue eyes. Naruto is glaring down his nose, Sai's back is arched into an uncomfortable position and the wood of the bookshelf digging into his wrist sending a dull thud down his arm. Blue eyes gradually widen until he's staring almost blankly at him, his mouth a small 'o.' Sai doesn't do anything but watch the range expressions play out on his face, minutely fascinated. Just as quick as Dickless is close he recoils. He's met with resistance.

Looking down they notice the material of their jackets are tangled on the buckle of Sai's shirt and Naruto has to fight the heat of his anger from surging up his neck like a storm under his jacket.

Sai doesn't stop staring and watches as Naruto makes noises of anger and almost panic as he tugs on the material trying to get it loose instead of actually trying to maneuver it like a actual person with a brain.

"C'mon" he pleads urgently to no one. Sai doesn't say anything when he maneuvers his hands around Naruto's, leaning closer to eliminate the tension, watching him tense as he quickly untangles the fabric.

"You are truly a moron. I'm surprised you've survived this far..." Sai says watching Dickless turn quickly on his heel, grab the cart and quickly roll it out of the room.

"...you've left a mess..." he calls at the retreating figure. He's rewarded with the finger.

 **~OOOOO~**

Sai doesn't consider himself a nice person. He considers himself a polite person but not nice, that requires more emotion and connection than he can generate. But even that politeness is false. He also just doesn't think he cares enough. So when he decides to lend a helping hand to Dickless it is because he has no interest in sleeping in the city's locked records room. Dickless and his odd behaviors confound him. They work in silence, Naruto with tension woven into his body language (the couple of times he looks over to him to make sure he is actually working.) He's not sure how long they actually work for in silence but it becomes obvious as the bright morning light deepens to an orange and gradients into the deep reds and pinks of twilight.

A sharp knock comes and Dickless jolts as the door opens and a familiar pink head pops in.

"Wow, you're actually working would you look at that." She smirks at them and the scent of a warm meal floods the room. Dickless inhales deeply, groaning loudly. It almost sounds erotic. Sakura stifles a partial laugh and the door clicks behind her.

"I've brought dinner courtesy of your Hokage."

Naruto rolls his eyes but lunges for the food, almost knocking it out of her hands and getting a sharp wack to the back of the head for it. They sit around a small desk and dig in hungrily.

"I'm starving. You almost done?" Sakura asks watching somewhat oddly as Naruto seems to barely chew his food.

"We finished sum but there's soo much tuh go. 'm gettin sick of lookin at the same thing over n over it hurts my eyes" Naruto complains in half formed words around his mouthfuls of rice and noodles.

"Don't be gross chew your food, moron" she says less than pleased. Naruto swallows one large mouthful what looks almost painfully and burps loudly listening to it's echo in the small room.

"How far do you guys have to go?" Her hands twirl the chopsticks just a bit as she watches their teammate.

"I dunno" he says clearly annoyed.

"Well I'm lucky I just got off, but it's been a day" she says stretching her arms above her head, setting her empty plate aside.

"Wanna help?" Dickless says, face lighting up and eyes shining hopeful.

"Nope, in your dreams. Besides, you have Sai" she says.

Naruto rolls his eyes, "Tsunade-baba only told him to come to supervise me, can you believe that?"

"Yeah you'd probably make a bigger mess by yourself."

She turns her face towards Sai with a confused expression.

"Then what have you been doing this whole time?"

"I have been helping Dickless, we would be here into the morning at the rate he reads, and based on the state of his home I do not think he has ever organized anything in his life either."

She takes this into consideration and watches Naruto's eyes slant into a glare. Last time they fought he spilled the food everywhere. And Sakura found out a little too much about her teammate.

"Only until recently! He was reading something stupid the first part of the day"

Sakura tips her head at Sai, she doesn't know why she indulges in their back and forth banter since it only sets off Naruto's short fuse. Maybe that's why. She must hand it to him though, as of late he had been more tolerant of Sai. She says that loosely. She figures Naruto has finally built some sort of threshold for Sai since not all their interactions end with outward acts of violence like they used to in the beginng.

"Did you know that divorce rates are on a rise in Konoha? This must be good news for you as it does not matter that you are unmarriable because you can simply remarry as many times as you need before someone finally has to settle for you before you or they die. Whoever goes first."

The chopstick in her hand snaps as the vein in her forehead pulses. It is quite a sight. He's told her several times that she should be careful as that vein may permanently protrude.

Naruto stops mid chew and wearily looks between them both. Sai figures he said something wrong again so he smiles but it seems to stir the beast even more.

"Before. _Someone_. **Settles**. **_For_**. _**Me**_?" Uglys face scrunches with anger as she drops the snapped wood and Dickless quickly restrains her.

"No! If you punch the bastard into a shelf I'm going to be here all night!" Naruto hollers over her onslaught of angry insults and tries hard to hold back Ugly as she foams at the mouth. Her hands reach out for Sai's creepily calm face promising death and pain as Naruto drags her out.

Ugly is quickly escorted out and when Naruto reenters Sai has already gotten back to work, he glares at him with the frown set a little deeper into his face.

"Frowns cause wrinkles."

They both get back to work until an hour later when Naruto lets himself fall back onto the carpeted floor.

"My back hurts" he whines.

"Why not use clones?"

"Because Tsunade-baba said I couldn't use any, stupid. Didn't you hear her?"

"She said not to use any during business hours. It is well past sundown" Naruto head perks up off the ground and eases himself into a sitting position even though his back protests and fixes Sai with a look. Sensing his gaze upon his back he meets his gaze.

"Finally! Till you say something that actually makes sense and I wanna hear" Naruto exclaims before springing to his feet with new found energy and creating six shadow clones.

"You two go to the back! You handle that side! You two are gonna do that big side over there and you are gonna help me."

All offensively loudly dressed Narutos stand stick straight and salute.

"Yes boss!" The shout in unison before going off in different directions. Sai can only imagine the horror of having an entire army barrel towards you at once. Seven are enough of an eyesore.

With help from the excessive Narutos they finish into the night but not as late as expected. The Narutos dispel and as the smoke clears the room gives way to the original with his mouth wide open in a jaw splitting yawn.

"Man," he stretches, rubbing his eye "I'm tired, that was the most boring mission work I've ever done."

Sai agrees and they lock the records room before making their way out of the building. Sai thinks that their relationship has been slowly improving. This is good. He has read that these bonds are often strengthened through physical contact as well as confidance and genuine gestures.

What that means? He has no damn clue.

But some of the examples listed physical touches. Between friends it could be kisses, high fives, hugs or heartfelt touches. These could also be gestures of farewell as it is night and they did just finish a tiring mission together. Kissing Naruto has proven to be confusing so that's off the list and he's never high fived anyone. He's not sure what heartfelt touches means. He has hugged Naruto once before even though it didn't work out but he figures he has had plenty of time to improve. He's seen it happen enough between people to know how to hug properly.

"-she's always doing that I shoulda known she was messing with me! She was smiling! Like a happy good kinda smile not the sadistic ones she usually does. Man I can't believe I got suckered into that I better get paid a whole lot tomorrow!"

Sai hums and nods and turns to his teammate, wraps his arms around his upper arms and leans his head on the curve of his shoulders for a second. He hopes this is an improvement as last time he only did a half hug with one arm, and that's probably where he went wrong.

"Goodnight Dickless I hope I never have the misfortune of having another mission like that with you again." He pulls away to Naruto's puzzled expression.

"The hell was that?!"

"A hug, was that not to your liking?"

"No-not that, well yes that but why?"

"I have read they are physical exchanges to show a strengthening relationship...did I do it wrong?"

"No just don't do it again" he narrows his eyes and even under the harsh yellow streetlight Sai can see the embarrassment taking over his face. He blushes too easily. Or maybe Sai doesn't blush enough? But he can't make himself embarrassed, it must be Naruto's fragile male ego and masculinity. Did he overstep a boundary? He knows that friendships are strengthened in different ways between males and females.

His teammate stares at him hard for a second longer before scoffing and shaking his head. "You're so damn weird" he says avoiding eye contact.

"As are you"

Naruto sighs, glancing over his shoulder into the dark street and without a word he turns on his heel. Sai watches him go for a second before leaving in the opposite direction.

* * *

I'm trying hard to have a good amount of I interaction but not too much. Naruto's fluster is due to his lack of physical contact and Sai's candid but odd way of communicating. In this point they're just starting to be tolerant of each to a point where it is becoming a friendship.


	6. Chapter 6

**A SLATE BEST KEPT BLANK**

 **AN:** Ive actually had this chapter done for sooo long I just wasn't sure I wanted to go down this road but here we are. Oops it took so long.

* * *

 **05.**

The sun streaks neatly stacked caramel rays across his wooden floor boards. Warmth prickles his skin uncomfortably bringing him out of a good sleep. A sharp but steady tap comes from his window and he opens his eyes to a bird staring him down, peeking in from between the drawn blinds.

Looking at the clock he moves quickly out of bed throwing open the window and squinting hard against the bright rays that assault him all at once.

Skimming over the message he sends the bird back on its way, rushing to dress in his usual attire and dart out the door. He doesn't have a tendency to be late and he doesn't want to start now.

Kakashi-senpai beats him to her large sunlit office and he greets him with a half nod. Time stamps of history mark the room in the form of books and portraits, articles and little knick knacks. He makes sure to bow to the Hokage and smile pleasantly. She opens her mouth when muffled voices interrupt somewhere down the hall, permeating the walls and her heavy wooden door.

"-SAID NO!" Ugly's angry voice echoes into the room. A distinct heavy knock comes before Ugly and Dickless invite themselves in. Sakura's shoulders are bowed in anger and her eye twitching. Dickless drags his feet behind her much slower, pouting and rubbing his head.

"Your punctuality is improving" Tsunade comments glancing away from her clock.

"Now, before we get started good job brat and Sai on the records room yesterday. Nothing has come up missing or destroyed...yet." She can't help the chuckle at his widened eyes, sometimes it's just too easy.

"So this week has been rather slow with incoming missions but I just received one and you all came to thought. Since you (she looks to Ugly) and _you (_ she looks to Dickless) have been so persistent about getting out of the village I've finally got an available A-rank." Naruto almost bursts with barely concealed excitement as she raises her hand to stop him.

"Now, you do always have an option to pass, that being said...this is a seduction mission." She does not miss the flash of surprise and sudden shyness cross Sakura's face. The brat's mouth almost drops to the floor.

"The mission is one in the Land of Claws. The daiyamo's wife has had some valuables stolen by a shinobi crime syndicate in the country's capital. You are to infiltrate a very explicit gathering...of sorts. There will be a lot of, _entertainment,_ present. (Sai knows what's she's trying to say, a glance to Naruto and Sakura show that they are certainly not on the same page.)

"If you happen to find out anything extra well then that's just a bonus. Do you accept?"

Team Kakashi looks at each other, Sakura gives a good fight trying to seem collected but the pink breaks through her cheeks. Naruto is less subtle gawking at everyone.

"Hai, Hokage-sama" they agree in unison. Tsunade smirks.

"A emerald necklace and a rare pink diamond ring reside somewhere in the location, they will be auctioned off so time is of essence. The man you're looking for is Kaito Hizashi. The syndicate can be quite ruthless, looting small towns and even taking hostages. Your 'in' is as entertainers, it was a hard thing to setup and is a big deal in the area so don't mess it up."

She slides the file across her desk tapping it once with her nail and something about the way she says that makes Naruto's stomach turn.

 **~OOOOO~**

Seduction missions require a different type of preparation than most. Tsunade makes sure to enroll Team Kakashi minus Kakashi into a 'class.' Seduction is not taught in the academy, for obvious reasons. When Naruto questions why he and Sai have to go because 'Sakura-chan is the _girl_ after all' not only is he hit, (she doesn't say it's because it amuses her greatly) but simply because 'different people have different preferences'. The thought is like an ice cube down his back even though an embarrassing warmth spreads down his body. A flashback to a certain incident keeps him quiet. He can't look at Sai for the next half hour.

"Alright class, what I tell you today I expect you to replicate and do in the comfort of your own home, maybe when the kids are at school and you get some alone time. Husband optional." The petite brown haired instructor winks her grey eyes and a chorus of giggles breaks Naruto out of his internal getaway happy place at Ichirakus. Moron-Sai actually pays attention. The class is completely women and a mixture of civilian and shinobi wives all much older than the three of them.

"The key to being sexy is being confident. Own your space. Your eye, your stride, your walk, your talk, your presence. Even if you don't have that confidence. Fake it till ya make it! Be flirty...have a little bit of bravado, but not too much. You wanna be a bit of a tease...cheeky, make them work for it. Certain men are intimidated by bold powerful women". The instructor rolls her eyes and the room gives varying comments and hollers of agreement. Knowing Sakura is right next to him and just as embarrassed is enough to make him want to shrivel up.

Glares are pointed in their direction and Naruto want to curl up into a ball and _die_.

 **~OOOOO~**

The following day after a hellhole of a seduction class Team Kakashi assembles outside the main gates of the town at sunrise. Sai manages a light breakfast while Naruto spends all but fifty minutes inhaling ramen. Kakashi-senpai is infamously late and for the majority of the waiting period Sai leans against a tree with the bark digging harshly into his back as Ugly taps her foot, trampling the grass beneath it.

The trip is a longer one through the deserts of Wind Country, forests and an empty valley before coming into the large city excessively decorated in a variety of flowers. By day it is normal like any other city but it is not hard to notice the way people whisper about the gathering that is going to happen, none of them explicitly confirming it's existence but whispering about it in hushed conversations they only catch snippets of. There certainly is excitement buzzing as the sun sets.

Gathering in Ugly's minimal inn room they lay out the minimal map of the location. It serves as a grand hall of sorts for auctions according to the reports. Kakashi explains where he will be waiting.

"Why aren't you coming?" Naruto says although it sounds more of a whine.

"A henge won't fool them, they're ninja and because I said so." He gives a happy little smile and Naruto deflates like a balloon. "Just watch Sakura. I'll be watching your back" he says. Sliding open the window silently he sends a salute before jumping out. Sakura sighs, resigned to their fate. Glancing at the clock she bites her lip.

"Lets go."

Sai's only ever participated in one seduction mission in his life and even then he wasn't doing the direct seducing. A mission of passion and complex human interaction isn't one quite for Root members. The 'seduction' part was purely physical. It takes a type of finesse to excel in seduction, that's why they're something of a rarity.

The makeshift tent where they are scheduled to meet up is buzzing with people and at the door they are halted by someone with a clipboard asking their 'names.' Entering as Akari, Isao and Taichi they are shown their designated area where racks and racks of clothes and accessories line the walls. It's overwhelming. Tables with lights along the mirrors line the opposite wall and crowds of half naked or completely naked people walk by. Naruto and Sakura hide their tomato red faces in the endless racks.

"Ughh...I don't know what to pick..."Sakura says standing a bit awkwardly like she wants to shrink into herself.

"Well don't look at me!" Naruto says a little too pink and a little too loud.

"He barely knows how to dress himself" Sai says and he turns when he feels eyes on him. Behind him stand two people, a guy and girl clearly not working as 'entertainers' but standing, judgingly, with clipboards.

"You're taking too long" he smiles although his tone is impatient, his brown curls falling over his freckled face. The petite willowy redhead behind him snaps her fingers, "clothes off, _now._ We have to get going. We have a theme going on and _that_ ", she looks pointedly at their clothes, "will just not do."

Naruto and Sakura share a look, Sai tips his head.

Each are helped out by the duo who are much to snippy and particular and creepily finish each other's thoughts. Naruto ends up shirtless with red gold adorned draped pants that move with him and a golden cuff wrapped around his bicep. He almost fights them when they try to put makeup on him but he ends up with cooper colored makeup that make his blue eyes the bluest things Sai's seen. They design random designs across his chest and stomach and shoulders.

Ugly wears a jewelry piece that wraps around her neck and drapes softly over her chest. Naruto drools at the red and gold accents exposing her stomach and most of her thighs. She is covered in jewelry and the sultry look of her makeup makes her eyes inviting and her lips are bloody red. Dickless hovers a little too close to Ugly while they work on her and scares off anyone who tries to come to close.

They make Sai dress in a short black robe that just barely hangs onto his shoulders. The tassel around his waist is gold and the accents at the shoulders are too. They mess up his hair on purpose and add black and gold around his eyes and instead of drawing on him like Dickless they add streaks of gold and black on him as if he were a blank canvass. He doesn't recognize himself in the mirror. It's almost art, what they've done...in an odd sort of way.

Ugly and Dickless don't look like eyesores for once...if only they could look like that all the time. They certainly have an appeal to them made up the way they are. When they all finish they stand in a semi circle staring at each other, his teammates blush brightly. Ugly opens her mouth when a shout diverts their attention.

"Alright it's showtime! Get a move on people! You got a job to do!" The crowd follows to the exit on the left and the trio finds themselves swept up in it.

For the night their job is to entertain whether it's to dance or talk to otherwise. The hall is large and lavish, flaunting the incredible wealth that exists inside it. Being ushered in they find themselves surrounded by expensive looking decor and jewelry. The high ceilings are lined with hand carved detail and the columns show a close attention to detail. The floors beneath are seemingly glossy and it feels like his feet are too dirty to even touch them. The chandeliers above them paint the room in a rose gold glow. The trio immediately go to the table of expensive finger foods and drinks. The report gives a clear description of Kaito Hizashi. Taller than average, specializing in hand to hand combat and an affinity for earth jutsu. Unruly blond hair and smart grey eyes. He has a tattoo on his upper right shoulder. His full capabilities are unknown.

It's no wonder this mission is A rank with the literal prison they're stuck in with enemy ninja and unable to carry for defense due to minimal clothing.

This mission is one more for Ugly since she is the only girl and the Kaito which is sitting in a large lavish chair on the opposite side of the room is surrounded by nothing but women. Ugly is still as red as the fabric she wears. Sai only hopes they don't mess it up seeing as how awkward Ugly and Dickless handle themselves.

Naruto gets a foot into the house before he feels a curious hand curve around his ass and would almost jump a foot in the air if it wasn't for Sakura's hand not so lightly pinching him. He turns around and finds no one there.

Sai's eyes skim around the busy bodies in the dance floor and large sofas strewn with vibrating bodies. Most of them barely covered. Sakura stiffens beside him when she catches sight of their target. With only a glance she leaves their side, weaving in and out of people smooth like water to the mans side. Naruto turns away, gently rubbing his neck.

"You go to the left ill take the right" he whispers between them. Sai obeys and finds himself surrounded by crowds of beautiful people left and right. He stands at the punch bowl when he sees a golden hand wrapped in jewels wrap around his arm and slowly trail down his wrist. The weight of a head comes to rest on his shoulder and breath fans across his neck. A pink diamond catches the light around a slim finger.

"Hello again" a raspy voice waltzes into his ear. The scent of liquor is overpowering on her.

He turns to her and tips his head at her, smiling what he hopes is invitingly.

"Hello"

 **~OOOOO~**

Naruto almost can't look at Sakura. The sight of her alone is enough to heat his blood but also seeing her try to tempt someone else is enough to crush all his spirits. Sighing he feels exposed out in the open and his hands come to the waist band barely hanging around his hips.

"Hey" a male voice rasps next to him and Naruto turns to find himself staring at big bright brown eyes. The man has half a head on him, his short orange hair tousled effortlessly. His eyes wander appreciatively down his body and Naruto almost flips his shit and runs away. The thought of flipping a table or glass bowl as a distraction crosses his mind. The type of undivided attention he's getting is not the kind he wants.

A large hand reaches out almost as if to touch but the movement seemingly throws off his center of balance sending him falling forward. Naruto instinctively jerks to catch him and the man laughs out loud.

"You're really pretty you know that?" He smiles wide and it's almost charming considering how he's practically swooning and batting his eyelashes at him. A slow panic churns in the pit of his stomach.

 _'Pretty!?'_

Forcibly smiling Naruto glances towards Sakura watching her chat it up with Hizashi, leaned over playfully on his chair. It gives Naruto just enough resolution to not say anything that's going to land him in trouble.

Forcing himself to smile he nods, "thanks."

"Come up to my room" he suggests fingertips smoothly grazing his wrist. The light dances in his eyes playfully and he bites his lip.

'... _Daaaa wha?'_

A large man comes over and pats the finger on the chest.

"Kaito! Ma man! Got those rats outta there real fast just like I said ya would."

Naruto turns to the punch bowl and then to Sakura. _HUH?!_ Did he hear wrong? He wants to tear his eyes away and also not look away.

"Wasn't I right? The old hags too old to do anything"

"I snatched Mariko a nice little diamond ring. Thanks for that my man" his smile almost splits his face and they slap hands.

"What's next on the itinerary?"

He throws up his hands and smirks.

"Who knows? It's going to be great though"

A woman murmurs next to the man who makes a sour face and they say their friendly goodbyes.

...Sakura's with the wrong guy.

He wants to stomp over there and yank her away from leering eyes when he feels a hand around his waist.

The sensation on his bare skin tickles up his spine like fine hairs. Slowly the hand trails from his waist and fits right into his own. The heaviness of his gaze brands into Naruto's skin. He looks down at their clasped hands, smiling trying not to strain he nods following the path that parts for Kaito just like waves. Naruto glances back to Sakura in a panic who is caught up in a conversation. Scanning the crowd he searches for his socially retarded teammate only hoping they won't fuck it up.

 **~OOOOO~**

Her purple eyes widen in subtle surprise and she pulls away.

"Sorry I thought you were someone else." The low rose gold lighting enhances her platinum blonde hair and her eyes run over him again.

" I don't mean to disappoint"

She looks at him slightly horrified before blushing and placing her hand lightly around his arm.

"No! Sorry I do apologize you just remind me of someone I was hoping I'd run into again."

"He looks like me?"

"Somewhat." She looks dazed and Sai turns to find Ugly immersed in a crowd of people. Maybe she can do something right?

He wonders what's going on over there. Dickless is nowhere to be found. When he turns back she is swaying on non moving feet, a lost look coming over her eyes.

"Come" she says lightly grabbing the tassels of his very thin and short robe. She grabs his hand and leads him away from the crowd up a set of quiet stairs. At the landing they turn left walking down an empty hallway quietly but when they round the corner they almost collide with another pair. Dickless stands behind a large ginger haired man, sending messages of what might be panic-might be danger-might be constipation when he locks eyes with Sai. Their respective dates stop and stare at each other. She stiffens and her fingers twitch in his hand unsure to flee or fight. They both look at each other holding someone else's hands, meaningful looks and feelings communicated in a silence that Sai doesn't quite understand. With the tension he expects a fight to break out . With a huff she upturns her nose, squeezes his hand and pulls him closer behind her as she stomps away. Naruto looks back at him with a slightly questioning look, Sai can only send a confused shrug.

Around the corner she shoves the door open with a chakra infused hand, locking it behind them.

The room alone is the size of his apartment with taller ceilings, coated in seemingly gold. the floor is the same glossy tile that clicks under his shoes and the walls are adorned with fancy paintings and gold columns. A variety of flowers dot the room. The click of a heel and the breath of a sob divert his attention to the pretty lady with his back to him. She turns and stomps over to the bed, letting herself fall heavily onto it. She looks like a petulant child. With her arms crossed she glares at the door before her mask crumbles into tears.

She sobs. "I just can't believe it! This...this _empire_ that I've built from the ground up was all for him and he he-" she gasps and wails, her face contorting unattractively and Sai has to rummage through his toolbox of possible reactions he can plaster on his face because this isn't something he's ever dealt with on his own. If anyone cries around him it's usually his fault.

"He what?" He asks instead and wraps an arms loosely around her pulling her stiffly close. Her face lands more in his armpit than chest and she clutches onto him "...He takes all the credit. _**He's gay!**_ I've spent years on him! He just used me!" Snot runs down her pretty face and more for Sai's sake instead of her own rips one of the loose sleeves and wipes away the snot and tears. She still sobs and he pats her head a bit awkwardly but with actual effort.

"Maybe there is a misunderstanding?" He says watching her somewhat detached. He doesn't want to deal with this. It's a logical answer too, Sai has misunderstood social situations more than he's understood them. Her sobs sound more like croaks and she takes a swig from the open wine bottle that impresses Sai. She fiddles with the cork.

"...I did all of this for him. I built an empire for him..." she whispers more to herself than him. This peaks his attention.

"What do you mean?" He looks closely at her face for some sort of give, she's not making a lot of sense.

She ignores him. "He has googly eyes for his best friend too. Damn moron. I've just been too stupid to notice...maybe it's my fault. Maybe I was just...just ignoring it. I'm going to die alone with a hundred leopards and wrinkly skin fromcryingtoomuchandnoonesgoingtowant meand-" her voice cracks and Sai shushes her by pressing her face further into his chest. He can't tell if the moisture on his ribs is snot or tears. She drags him down with her onto the bed until he's twisted in an odd way and his arm begins to fall asleep. He stares at the gold adorned ceiling with intricate hand painted detail,

"What do you mean he took credit?"

" He's so stupid! _I_ do all the dirty work, the negotiations...beautiful bastard just swings his stupid sword and follows _my_ orders." Her eyes follow the complicated patterns on the ceiling. There is a stillness to her that makes Sai question everything coming out of her mouth. He's also heard alcohol is a truth serum.

"Airhead. I wouldn't get half the respect if I was the head of this whole thing" The drunken drawls almost come out in broke slurs.

"...Traitor" he whispers right alongside her because it seems right.

"Yeah!" Her voice cracks and she looks to him with red wounded eyes, her frame slack with sadness and the bottle sitting forgotten in her lap. Taking the initiative he takes the glasses off the bedside table and pours them both drinks, more hers than his. She almost downs it all in one go.

Sai figures the best way to get anything from her is to keep her talking. And very very intoxicated.

"There will come a time where you'll find the right person and that person won't break your heart." It seems like something someone wise would say.

It's interesting to Sai to watch how her eyes soften and she mouths more than says 'thank you' before her eyes fill with tears and she wipes one away. She traces her finger around the edge of the glass. When she speaks its shaky and she almost sounds like she's laughing even though it's laced with sharp anger and her hands grow agitated at her sides.

"His best friend knows and he just loves it that cold hearted asshole. He gloats. And Kaito is so loyal to him I can't do anything but Ayme doesn't even care he's out there right now sitting on the speakers golden chair surrounded by hordes of whores and power hungry men." She downs the rest of the glass, pouring herself another.

His mind flashes to the man from the profile sitting on the chair, the report is completely... incorrect. Ugly going to try and seduce him.

Sai isn't sure but he thinks this is what is called irony.

Instead he watches her down glass after glass. She switches from sadness to anger and when he's finally had enough because she doesn't pass out on her own he knocks her out with an efficient hit to the head.

He stages it to look like she's passed out on her own and he slips the ring off her finger admiring the sparkle of it before hiding it in his robe and giving one last glance to the heartbroken girl before slipping out the door.

Sai's doesn't understand what it is to be so fully devoted to someone but he can recognize it for the disappointment it is. Perhaps a while ago and even still a bit now he didn't see the need for such adoration but now he thinks it's a shame that sometimes it just hurts instead.

 **~OOOOO~**

The second that the door closes and locks them into an impossibly lavish room Naruto doesn't even turn before he feels a warm hard body mold against his back. The sensation causes his eyes to widen. A hand presses against his lower belly and the kisses to the back of his neck change from light and airy to sloppy and forceful. His embrace becomes more of a hold. A shudder rips through Naruto's spine and he can't help but lean into the touch. The hand slowly travels downward cupping his crotch and Naruto jumps and the blood rushes from his brain straight south. Blood pumps hard in his ears. Turning him around with surprising speed Naruto finds himself backed into a corner and forced up onto a dresser. Kaito's mouth is forceful and Naruto can barely breathe around his mouth and barely think with his excitement pressing into him. He barely manages to push him away to breathe, his chest heaving and the room entirely too hot. His eyes are downcast and a small frown mares what was his happy expression a couple of minutes ago. Naruto almost completely forgot what he was doing. His eyes flutter trying to refocus and over Hizashi's shoulder a big flashy emerald necklace sparkles beautifully hidden skillfully amongst strewn clothes and carefully placed objects.

 _'Bingo_.'

His eyes flutter when Kaito's tongue presses and tickles against his neck sending nothing but mixed signal through Naruto's fuzzy mind and making it hard to see let alone think straight.

Naruto pushes him away.

"Waywaywaywait...a second." He swallows and Kaitos hands come aroud his thighs.

"Are you okay?"

His face is clearly upset and Naruto breathes heavily.

"You don't look okay, you're acting differently"

"..."

People have always told Naruto has a big mouth. And that's exactly how he intends to survive the night "...do you want to...talk, about it?" He sounds as hopeful as he can muster.

"I've been better..." he says. Naruto wrestles with himself about how personal to get. He still wants to get out of here. He's the enemy, the outnumbered and exposure or attention is the last thing he wants.

"You sure you don't wanna talk about it..?"

He gives a hopeful smile and Kaito breathes deeply, seemingly getting his thoughts in order before opening determined brown eyes.

"No, take off your-"

"-Maybe it could help" Naruto shuffles and stands at the same time a hand wraps around the back of his neck. It snakes down to his crotch groping him and drops his already loose pants to the floor. Naruto gasps, missing grabbing his pants and eyes almost rolling to the back of his head. Standing in his briefs he stands pressed chest to chest with some kind of horny perv who's got his hand around his dick he _moans_.

Naruto blushes. Backing up, throws up his hands as a quick barrier, mind half forming incoherent thoughts. The connection between his mouth and mind frazzled. He doesn't have time to think about it. He quickly moves to put a table between them.

"I haven't known you long but it doesn't help to keep that stuff in ya know."

"I don't think I want to talk about it" He says with a deeper frown and striding towards Naruto. Naruto is quick to edge away, "was it that lady?"

"She's not just some lady" He says almost mad but is just as quick to deflate, plopping down in the nearest seat. Naruto inches slowly, careful to keep some distance and they stand in silence for a couple of moments.

"I fucked up...really bad" he whispers looking at his hands.

"Uhh...what happened" he tries to be convincing hesitantly placing his hand on his arm.

He almost backs away when his brown eyes look almost pleadingly at him.

"When do you know something you've done is unforgivable?"

Naruto sputters, opening and closing his mouth but nothing coming out. An urgent knock comes to the door saving him from his torture and Kaito perks up.

He opens the door to a tall intimidating man murmuring to him. He tenses.

"What wrong?" Naruto asks, he immediately thinks to Sakura, stomach dropping to the fancy floor tile.

"A fight broke out you need to leave as soon as you can. It's serious, leave-now" he hesitates at the door, hand reaching to pull at small dagger from his side.

"...Perhaps I will see you next time...?"

Kaito rushes leaving him standing by himself in the room with the door wide open. Naruto is just about to close the door when it's forced wide open again. On the other side stand Sakura and Sai. She looks like she's seen a ghost. The spike of dread in the pit of his core is instant.

"Why aren't you wearing pants?" He looks down realizing he's feeling a breeze and sputters red, jerking to cover himself. Sakura looks down, stunned but seemingly unresponsive to his almost nudity and Naruto knows something's really wrong.

"What's-"

"Sasuke's here."

It takes a minute to process.

"Like now?"

"Yes Naruto _now_ "

"But the mission.."

Sai holds the rose gold ring between two fingers before putting it back in his pocket.

"The necklace" Sakura insists.

The necklace? _The necklace_.

Closing the door he knocks off all the things on the dresser hiding the stand that holds the necklace. Sakura grabs it and hands it Sai to hide in one of his pockets.

"We have to go" she says, taking the ring from Sai. A storm of emotions pass over her face none of which he can make out but he knows they're not of the happy variety.

"But Sasuke's here"

"Were on a mission, Naruto" she says but she sounds unsure herself. He huffs and Sai can see the need to go out there and chase the Uchiha down in the way he shuffles restlessly.

"He's not alone either" she says sounding much more resolute.

"Fine. Let's go" Naruto says but looks confused when they don't move.

"Put on pants, moron!"

 **~OOOOO~**

They all know they could escape through the windows or some other back entrance but Ugly and Dickless want to run into Sasuke and Sai thinks it's stupid and unprofessional but he's outnumbered and Ugly is in a very snippy mood.

Complete panic is going on down stairs with a mass of people trying to stampede through the front door which is only so big. Many of the shinobi present are fighting admits civilians and there is no doubt going to be multiple casualties. A couple of bodies already litter the ground and they have to step over pools of red.

Sasuke Uchiha and his posse stick out admits all the red and gold and shiny jewels. Wearing dark blue pants and a purple top he fights off enemies with a grace and ease that is equally entrancing and unnerving. A white haired maniac runs through the crowd with an oversized sword laughing as if he's having the time of his life. A large ginger haired man swings others about like rag dolls. Sakura gasps besides him. Naruto stiffens and his fists curl.

"Hey! Bastard!" He shouts.

Even admist ear splitting screams and the clash of metal on metal and breaking of glass and valuables Uchiha seems to hear him and stop for a second to look at them.

His face carries no recognition, nothing and in the blink of an eye they have to duck behind toppled tables to avoid being incinerated by a monster sized fire ball that covers the drapes above them in flames. The screaming intensifies and the two morons stand watching their beloved bring down an entire mansion full of people. Sai yanks at them and they leave through an open window upstairs. In the cool indigo night they go to where Kakashi-senpai is supposed to be only to find it empty.

Turning to the corner they find him fending off a small gathering of enemy ninja. Empty handed Kakashi tosses them the last spare kunai he has. It's unpleasant having to fight without his ink. One of the big burly men gets too close and almost knocks him off his feet. Jumping back onto a toppled trash can he uses it as leverage to land a kick to his chest gaining enough power and momentum to topple him. As they fall down he drives the kunai into his eye and listens to the blood curdling scream. Kakashi-senpai takes down two with his sharingan right next to him. Ugly punches someone into a wall three streets down. Dickless has a small army overtaking shinobi left and right.

Now fully under flames the mansion provides enough distraction to turn and flee into the shadows. Naruto more or less bursts into Sakura's inn window with the rest of the team tumbling in a mess behind him.

"Do you have the jewels" Kakashi-senpai asks edging near the window looking outside before pulling the curtains shut.

Sai pulls the flashy necklace out of his baggy pockets and Sakura wiggles her finger at him.

"Good"

"Kakashi-sensei! Sasuke was there! We should go back!"

"I know, I saw. He started the fight."

"Why? How?" Sakura asks sitting on the bed.

"I don't know but it's not safe to go out there the town is under chaos right now. Since he started this he obviously has some kind of motive. I'm going to go-"

"But!-"

"No buts you two are a little too headstrong with anything that involves Sasuke and this is a fragile situation. We're lucky nothing more serious happened"

"Kakashi-" Naruto whines

"I'm serious you two" he looks to them once more before he disappears in a flash.

With a groan Naruto falls back onto the mattress, pulling up his pants which are hanging dangerously low. Sakura puts her face in her hand. They sulk in their own disappointment.

"What would the bastard be doing here anyway?" Naruto mumbles at the ceiling.

"I don't know" Ugly says focused on the floor but looking far past it.

"...So, where did you two go? I was looking for you when the fight broke out."

Naruto stiffens and an awkward look comes over his face.

"Hizashi was only a cover. It was his wife that was the brains behind the operation and he was cheating on her with multiple men" Sai says. She only just notices that his robe is ripped at the shoulder and it just barely drapes across his chest by threads. The chest piece feels uncomfortable around her neck and she goes to take it off, swatting at Naruto to help her.

"How do you know?"

"She asked me to come with her to her room"

"Did you...?"

He tips his head. "Did I what?"

They both blush and look away, "nevermind" she says instead. She sighs when the heavy piece is removed.

"And you Naruto?"

"Duhhhh...I was upstairs looking for...the stuff..."

"Why weren't you wearing any pants though?" She makes a face.

"I ...was with...someonebutthentheyleft..."

The shock on Sakura's face is just enough to make him turn from pink to red.

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Are-what...did...?" She sputters and examines him like an ant under a microscope.

"Why is it such a big deal when I'm with someone and Moron Sai isn't!"

"Because I'm not a moron"

"Shut up!"

"I don't know I just wasn't expecting that, you surprised me."

"I was surprised also to see that anyone could show interest in Dickless."

He groans and throws himself back on the bed.

It clicks for Sai, "you were with the cheating husband."

"You were with the what?!" Sakura's eyes almost bulge out of her head, he wonders how she would react if he told her he spent a night with Naruto.

"I couldn't say no! I didn't want to get caught and I ended up finding the necklace anyway!" He feigns indigence even though he avoids eye contact and his blush is spreading down his neck like a rash.

Sakura fiddles with the decorations on her skirt and mentally fumbles for words. She settles on silence.

"What did that dude say?" Naruto says after a couple of minutes of awkward silence between the two. She looks at the the ceiling, face growing hot and hesitant.

"...uhhh, nothing-nothing _important_ really. He was just bragging about money and the places he's been," (she recalls some of the other things he was bragging about and since when did Naruto get so blunt?) "and uhhh there was a lot of people around, so I couldn't...really get enough alone time with him."

Dickless' blushing virgin mask drops and instead shoots her suspicious looks. Jealousy, Sai thinks.

"Were you alone with him?"

"...Yeah"

They leave it at that with Naruto's mood noticeably darkening and Sakura trying her best to ignore the awkward in the room by looking at the cracks in the walls or the detail in her clothes. Sai watches them both. The dynamic between the two is incredibly complex to understand sometimes.

Kakashi comes back in, this time through the unlocked door, empty handed. His two teammates deflate.

"He's long gone."

The news is not shocking, it seems all they ever play on Team Seven is tag.

It's baffling to Sai as he watches Naruto's smile turn to a deep set frown, shadows cast across his eyes and Sakura's green eyes lose themselves in the vast distance of the darkened window, fingers fidgeting at her sides just how much Sasuke can get away with. He doesn't know how much power he has in his hands and in his presence (or lack of). Or perhaps maybe he does.

"We'll bring him back" Naruto announces to a silent room. Sasuke may be a fool but Naruto and Sakura are the real losers. When the echo of Naruto's speech of determination, bonds, and friendship dissipate behind closed doors it's hard to tell if what's left behind is tragic or pathetic.


	7. Chapter 7

**A SLATE BEST KEPT BLANK**

Im sorry I'm such trash and I upload once every blue moon, I'm working on it.

Idk where I was going w Sakura in this but um here ya go! Also,

Naruto: *two guys just chillin five inches apart cus they're not gay*.

If you get that meme you're the actual best. Also give me some ideas where you think this isn heading bc I have so many excerpts written out of where this could go and pretty much all of them are depressing in some way so help ya girl out.

* * *

 **07.**

The rising sun casts long stretching shadows like skinny fingers across the dirt roads out the main gate. It's best to leave before the chit chat of gossip can follow them out. Naruto doesn't want to hear it. Not when he knows who's responsible. The residuals of disappointment harden into unwavering determination and he moves with a harder, faster energy like a coil twisting, waiting to spring its powerful punch. It rubs off on Ugly too as the glint in her eye is fiercer. Kakashi sensei is the constant that supports.

The next stop is the daiyamo's castle. It's not long after leaving the nice little town in the flower valley that they reach the humid jungle. It's unwelcoming at best. It doesn't take long before Naruto develops a rash that quickly spreads across his thigh. Ugly has to beat him into submission to prevent him from saying anything inappropriate as she tugs his pants down to get a closer look.

"Does it make a difference he doesn't have anything there" Sai says standing by playing assistant. It's amusing to see Dickless waddle towards him, fire blazing in his eyes and pants around his ankles. Ugly hits Sai for him.

Even with filters the water in the jungle is questionable. Especially when the only river they come across has eels slithering along the bottom and Ugly doesn't know the odd flora that sits at the top. Dickless casually mentions seeing a crocodile in the distance. Sakura swallows a bug. She looks like she could've contracted something. It might also just be the large bags under her eyes getting bigger by the day, lack of proper hygiene and the dirt streaked across her sweaty face.

"You're forehead shines gloriously. You should lead the way as it will reflect the suns rays" he says. He gets shoved into a large spider web for that. Something bites him.

The bug nets are next to useless. Dickless removes his jacket and wraps it around his head like a turban complaining the whole time. The team rolls up their pants as far as they will go and wear the lightest layers they can tolerate.

As extremely humid as day is the temperature plunges to freezing at night. Nightfall presents itself with a different set of problems in particular the large predators that come out. They have two close incidents where they have to scare off some creature. The third time they're chased off the path by something and it adds an extra day in the jungle.

Sai manages to get a quick sketch of Dickless in knee deep waters and Ugly and Kakashi sensei straightening out camp. They leave mosquito bitten and sweat soaked. At the borders between the Land of Jungles and Wind Country they are retained and frisked at knife point for a whole day. Separated, Sai is placed in a chamber with a random assortment of drunks and petty thieves. A drunk urinates in the far corner. Another won't stop knocking against the metal bars singing some song in some language he doesn't even know. He's released with a harsh baton jabbing him in the side. Kakashi sensei had been confused for the wrong person.

With less than an apology they are given the boot and allowed to go their merry way. It's a relief when they step on Fire Country soil.

The castle is not too far out the way from Konoha, sitting amongst the wild flower fields in the heart of Fire Country. The highly guarded path leading to the building is framed by lazily rolling green fields. The dirt trail leading to the large gates are seemingly empty to the untrained eye. A figure materializes from behind a high stone post. Covered in metal plates he meets them halfway.

"State your names and state your business."

"We are Team Seven reporting from the Godiame Hokage. We are here to return the daiyamo's stolen items. I am Kakashi Hatake and these are my students, Sakura, Naruto and Sai."

Showing the jewelry the guard gives a stiff nod and gestures forwards, "follow me."

The oversized gates open quickly to a grand atrium out in the open with multiple guards patrolling the grounds.

Walking past overarching ivy wrapped columns they are greeted to an almost overwhelming grandor. Past highly decorated sliding doors are wall sized portraits of past daiyamo's as well as their wives lining the walls, expensive upholstery , lively plants and flowers add explosions of colors. The quiet walk down the hallway is then interrupted by the quick taps of running sandals. A blur darts from around the corridor and stops short of the guard.

"Eiji! Eiji! Eiji!" A girl in messy brown braids huffs, her bangs out of her face, cheeks red from exertion. Dressed in simple pants and a long sleeve black shirt she plants her balled fists on her hips.

"You said three and it's now almost three thirty I've been waiting!"

He stiffens. "My lady I apologize! We have temporary visitors and I must take them to your father."

' _Father?'_ The girl acts more of a tomboy brat than royalty. Sakura can't help but notice that she's around their age and seemingly standoffish.

She looks around his broad stature to the group watching and is quick to eye them each, stopping and dwelling on Sakura. If Sakura were any different she would've bristled.

"Oh...okay I-"

"I will be shortly with you my lady. Run along"

"I-"

"Run along" He says sternly giving her more of a pointed look. She deflates before nodding and marching away with her braids fluttering behind her.

"I apologize for that. The little lady is eager to start her lesson. Come, let's get a move on she is quite impatient sometimes."

His seemingly frosty disposition morphs from the short interaction and the detached expression turns to a more neutral one. It's interesting to watch how the front melts because of the girl. After a couple more twists and turns they come across large doors and the guard knocks once and then twice.

"Come in" a cheery male voice comes from the other side.

Stepping into the enormous office they are greeted by more obnoxious decor that only flaunts the incredible wealth that exists in the house.

"Daiyamo-sama these ninja are from the Hidden Leaf, sent by the Hokage personally to return m'lady's stolen jewels."

The man is dressed as only royalty is in a red robe and a large curled hat with the fire emblem and a pleasant smile on his face. His dark mustache curves with his mouth. His face lights in surprise.

"Oh, how wonderful! The misses has been in absolute fits since they stole from us! I told her not to wear them out in _public_ (he says with slight distaste) but I guess that's what happens when you marry such a head strong woman." He laughs and beckons them forward. For the figure head of the country Sai can't help but notice how easy going and well humored he is. He reminds him of Naruto in a way.

He also comes across as an airhead. But of course behind every figure head is an army of advisors.

Sai and Ugly step forward at the same time with the jewels. His smile gets bigger creasing his eyes. "Ah! And in no worse wear I see! Excellent! It must have been quite a feat for you all. I've heard nothing but nasty rumors from the syndicate. They call themselves 'The Jungle'. Almost barbaric it sounds...fitting don't you think?" He muses as he draws a magnifying glass inspecting the jewelry at a distance, turning it over gently.

"It was quite a mission I must say so myself, but we are trained to be prepared for the unexpected" Kakashi sensei agrees. The Daiyamo stops what he's doing and truly looks at them.

"Well they must be doing well in Konoha. Fine ninjas you are. You look quite ruffled, I do extend an invitation for you to take a break here as an expression of my gratitude." Kakashi sensei is slightly surprised.

"Thank you Daiyamo-sama we are grateful" he bows and Ugly has to pull Dickless down with her.

"Great!" He claps, "Eiji would you mind showing our guests to the spare rooms?"

"Yes my lord. Come."

They walk past hallways of rooms to the other side of the castle facing the vast forests surrounding the land. They're given separate rooms all next to each other.

"My Lord has extended a invitation to stay the night or even dinner if you so please. I will leave you to rest. He says before bowing slightly and rounding the corridor.

"We are a couple of hours from Konoha why are we staying, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asks as soon as the guard is out of sight.

"Common courtesy. Besides Naruto needs a bath"

"-Hey! I'm no sweatier than the rest of you-"

"And I wouldn't say no to a warm bed and food after the jungle. We'll head back in the morning."

 **~OOOOO~**

Sakura would be lying if she said she had anything to do. She takes her pink hair out of the towel and stares at herself in the mirror. She needs a brush... Maybe she should take a nap? No, she's much too awake for that. She feels gently under her eyes. Those bags are getting out of control.

' _Damn Sai...'_

She could go bother Naruto.

' _Ugh no'_ She's already had enough of those two for the next week. She devours the chocolate the maids left and practically cries at how it melts in her mouth. A knock comes at the door and a maid sticks her head in.

"Hello" she says softly. "I have your clothes. They were quite dirty, that must've been quite an excursion."

"Thank you" she says, appreciating the crisp way they're folded and the warmth they radiate.

"If it interests you at all there are gardens in the back of the castle."

 **~OOOOO~**

Sakura expects an impressive garden from the Daiyamo of Fire country but it surpasses her expectations. It's more like an oversized maze of flowers than an actual garden. Blue jays sit in the large decorative trees planted next to the gorgeous water fountains. The breeze is refreshing against her skin and she sits on the ledge of the fountain staring down at the koi and her own reflection.

She looks better but boy, does she look rough. The kois move in a smooth hypnotic blur of color under the surface of water and she focuses just on that. They even nibble at her fingertips. Her mind slips and for a moment she thinks to the complete and utter lack of reaction from her teammate. His strong and powerful presence among nothing but licking flames. It's frightening.

' _Whats become of you?'_ Her vision blurs for a second and in the reflection of the corner of the fountain she sees pale skin and red detached eyes with so much... _anger_.

' _Sasuke?_ '

When she whips around she is faced with the girl from earlier, dark brown bangs windblown and her amber eyes regarding her with curiosity. Her smile is dazzling. Sakura's hand automatically goes to her heart and she forces herself to relax.

' _Stop it you're seeing things._ '

"Hi. I'm Takara. I saw you earlier."

"Sakura" she smiles and the girl sits down next to her. A little too close for strangers.

"Wow how do you get your hair like that?"

 **~OOOOO~**

Sai sometimes likes to accentuate certain parts of his art by only using a color or two. He flips past the sketch of Sakura sitting in the park against a tree back in Konoha. The only colors are her hair and the slight pop of green in her eyes. He doesn't have photographic memory but Root and art require extreme attention to detail. He looks back at the sketch's upon sketches he has in his sketch pad ranging from friends to landscapes to random things, animals as well as ideas for his ink creatures. He's going to have to get another one soon.

The maids already dropped off his clothes and he debates whether he wants to seek out one of his teammates or whether he wants to go off on his own. He decides to go off on his own, he's so used to solitude, long periods of silence dont bother him like they do Sakura and especially Naruto.

Approaching the garden he marvels at the wide range of flowers and statues. Off to the side he hears the rush of water and a melody of voices. Behind the thick ferns wrapped around glass paneling he spots the girl from before talking to Sakura. She looks slightly overwhelmed at the speed the girl's mouth seems to move.

"-wanted to at least try it, it seems so cool."

"I wouldn't exactly call it that"

"What do you do?"

"I'm a medic"

"A medic?! See that's so cool! Have you ever brought someone back from the dead?"

"That's not how it works but there have been a lot of close calls."

"Can you teach me?" She edges a bit closer in curiosity and Ugly doesn't move, just watching, partially unimpressed.

"No"

The girl almost falls over.

"Why not?!"

"It's much more complex than what I could possibly fit in an hour or two."

She sulks and pushes her long braids behind her shoulder. She gets up and picks a flower off one of the many bushes and presents it to Ugly.

"Calendula. Anti inflammatory, anti bacterial and antiviral. Here, this ones pretty and pink just like you." She smiles and Ugly sits there, face shifting from impassive to stunned in an instant as the girl tries to put it in her hair. Sai watches Sakura's face morph in fascination. The girl makes a face, finger to chin, "hmmm, come with me. I have a brush." A slow pink emerges on Uglys face and she scratches her cheek.

"I think I should head-"

"C'mon! I'll even braid your hair!" She says excitedly and grabs Ugly's wrist dragging her off the edge of the fountain.

The girl has an infactuation with Ugly? Sai can't quite tell because Ugly blushed but the girl, like Beautiful, is very touchy with their fellow girl friends and gives many compliments. But she also constantly talks about boys. The girl does seem like a handful though.

Keeping track of his twists and turns he stops when he thinks he has reached the center of the maze. Arches covered in ivy and red and pink roses open up to another fountain and benches. A gazebo sits off to the center wrapped in plants and in the center sits a pond with flowing water and a Buddha statue. It reminds him of a floral jungle. Sai gets an hour and a half of peace and quiet before he hears commotion coming through the shrubs.

"I don't know how you are a ninja, if you have the stealth of a pack of elephants."

"What's going on?! Everyone's missing! I can't find Kakashi sensei or Sakura-chan"

"So you decided to get lost in the gardens?"

"Not lost, I'm just exploring" He says coming to sit beside him.

"What are you doing"

"Drawing"

"Drawing what? That looks like clouds"

"I was under the impression your greatest works were made in macaroni"

"Asshole", he says with minimal bite, "I don't have anything to do. Where's Sakura-chan?"

Sai is perceptive and while he doesn't know the whole situation and he knows better than to just assume, others can't read him well (i.e. everyone) so they can't tell if he's telling the whole truth or not.

"With the daiyamos daughter. I believe they were...flirting?"

Dickless freezes beside him. His mouth moves a couple of times before shutting.

"No. You don't even know how to flirt."

Sai doesn't bother to remove his eyes from his work. The pond is somewhat tough to draw.

"No?" It's simple but enough to cause doubt.

"Sakura isn't...no. Waitwaitwait what do you mean."

"The girl gave Ugly a flower and called her pretty."

"A bunch of girls do that!" His blond head nods, apparently satisfied with this idea.

"They do?" He asks hoping to come across as bored or doubtful. His blond brow creases.

"I mean... she's in love with Sasuke-bastard."

Sai stops talking. Dickless will fall into Sai's trap all by himself.

"...right? She does yeah, her and Ino are best friends..." he goes deep into deep thought about his relationship with the bastard.

"Girls are different than guys. They're all girly and feely and all 'you look so good in that!...where is she anyway?! Are they alone?"

"They left together."

Dickless twitches and stares at the dark eyes beside him transfixed on a pond on paper.

"...She doesn't talk about the bastard as much as she used to...and she always says no to me...maybe...no no she's not."

He harrumphs and crosses his arms. Naruto spends the rest of the afternoon with him. He asks questions about art that Sai tries to answer and even asks to go through his sketchpad of which is a flat no. When he's not annoying Sai with his questions he sharpens his kunai and makes a clone massage his feet while he lazes in the sun.

 **~OOOOO~**

At dinner Ugly acts weird. Her hair is braided and she doesn't look directly at Takara (Sai finds out her name twenty minutes into dinner) who is seated right across from her. When she does it's fleeting and her eyes bounce from place to place in the room. She glares the couple of times she finds herself being watched by her two moronic teammates. Kakashi sensei chit chats with the Daiyamo and his chatterbox wife who seems to take a shine to him. Her husband is oblivious.

"Well thank you for all you've done. We have a bath house if you're interested, it's very relaxing" she says.

"Oh, I haven't been to one in awhile", Kakashi sensei says.

"Yes, it would be of our greatest pleasure to give you a chance to use it." There's something about the way she says it, face in hand and glint in her eye that's mischievous. Kakashi is all cool charm.

"Thank you, I might just check it out myself before we leave."

"Let's go, I'll show you guys where it is!" Takara smiles bright and wide. Sakura almost chokes on water before giving a small half close mouthed smile. It sits a bit awkwardly on her face.

 **~OOOOO~**

After dinner Takara leads the way to the bathhouses, talking their ears off. Kakashi sensei declines the offer. Naruto watches her and Ugly with almost hawk like eyes, checking for any suspicious activity. She smacks him for staring, but only after he catches her staring. She pulls her robe tighter.

They have separate sections for men and woman so Sai and Naruto find themselves alone again. "This is stupid how am I supposed to know whats going on if there's no way I can see into the women's side."

"I think that's how it's supposed to be"

Naruto is not impressed. Sai ignores him sliding into the warm waters. Settling into the corner he slips under the water until it covers his mouth. He watches Dickless sigh and hesitate for a moment before he more or less dives into the water sending it splashing everywhere. He sits opposite from him. It takes a minute for Sai to feign having his eyes closed and head tilted back before Naruto loses the tension in his shoulders and does the same. Beads of water roll down his body and his face is peaceful in silence.

Dickless rambles more than usual and while Sai listens with his usual attentiveness he can't help but stare at the distracting drops of water rolling down his neck and chest every once in awhile.

If Dickless notices (which Sai is certain but this is also Dickless he's talking about) he doesn't comment.

 **~OOOOO~**

After the bathhouse Takara follows Sakura into her room and the second the door closes the one across the hall opens and a blond head sticks out before quickly dodging into Sai's. Without knocking he walks into his room, quick to crack the door open and peak across the hall to Sakura's door with only a single alert blue eye.

Sai only watches him with mild curiosity, reconnaissance would not be his strongest suit.

"Shhhh" Naruto shushes him, waving a hand as if he was talking. A minute later he watches Takara leave the room with a glint in her eye and a spring in her step. She looks around, and practically skips away.

"I knew you were lying"

"Was I?"

"Yes, see? Nothing happened she left. Why are you always messing with my head."

"I don't you read into what I say as much as you want" he gives another of his trademark smiles and Naruto glares. He plucks one of the green grapes off a fancy gold decorated bowl off an end table. Then he hears the softest click of a door and Naruto drops to the floor on his knees.

Sai can't help but watch.

"That was her! She was sneaking out!" He whisper shouts.

"How do you know?"

"Her toes! Those were her feet"

"Is a foot fetish part of infatuation?"

Naruto glares but grabs his wrist and yanks him out.

"Why is she sneaking out?" Naruto says out loud to himself. They take a left down the hall and then another left down an even bigger hall, barely chasing the flutter of pink hair. After another right they find themselves at a side entrance to the gardens, immediately they duck behind a bush, the running sound of water helps to disguise the sound of their movements.

When stalking it's good to always stay in the shadows (which Dickless is very bad at), stay low, watch your footfalls and never go to far ahead without having a hiding place. Even moonlight is enough to reveal them, and the white robes they're still wearing are giant signs screaming for attention against all the green. It's common sense.

Sai finds himself pulling back Dickless' robe the couple of times he almost steps too far forward. They watch Ugly sit by one of the fountains, drop her face into her hand and stare into the water. Grabbing Naruto by the shoulders Sai pushes them back into a small space in almost complete darkness just as Ugly whips around, glare set hard on her face.

She glares all around her as they push themselves into the space, wedging themselves further in between a wall and decorative fencing wrapped in ivy and ferns. Sai has to swat some of it away to see. Presses chest to chest Naruto starts to flail and Sai has to clamp a hand around his mouth. It reminds him of all the times before he would have to cover airways until they stopped moving.

"You're going to give us away" he whispers against his ear feeling him shiver through the plushy robes.

He stiffens, "we can't even see her that good anymore!" he whisper shouts. After a heartbeat of silence Sai hears the same chatty melody of voices and Dickless perks up.

"Is that-?" He stops himself and listens, it's hard to make out what they're saying but it's Sakura and definitely someone else.

"Meeting in secret" Sai says and Naruto frowns.

"No, she probably just can't sleep or something or it's a coincidence." Even in semidarkness he sees something like doubt cross his face. Up close he can feel their breath intermingling and Naruto is stiff as a board. It reminds him of what happened last week. Sai sighs and ignores how Naruto's hairy legs are rubbing up against his.

The muscles under his jaw tense and he breathes harshly through his nostrils looking up to the heavens.

' _Ignore him_ ', Naruto encourages to himself.

Sai just watches and it makes Naruto's toes curl. He stares like he's an ant under a microscope and he stares with such odd passivity.

"What!?" He finally snaps

"What?" Sai repeats.

"You're staring" he narrows his eyes and the asshole just blinks.

"What should I look at?" He asks genuinely confused and Naruto breathes, ' _don't make it weird'_ he tells himself.

Naruto has always been obnoxious but he himself is something like a work of art. It's probably the angles. Sai can't really help himself when he leans forward and presses his lips to his teammates. It's something like an urge, something he does because he's so entranced for half a sharp second and there's an odd appeal to someone as vibrant as Naruto.

He doesn't exactly fight it, he jerks with surprise before he relaxes after a long two seconds and tilts his head letting his tongue slip in smoothly.

They stand there in between a shadow and a ribbon of light mouth to mouth in fluffy white robes. Sai presses harder against Naruto and the glide of his tongue leaves him dizzy with warmth and a buzz so pure. A hand comes to rest at his waist and the languid flow of their rhythms go straight to his groin.

They lose track of time, when Naruto pulls away for air, it's too hot between them and there's also not enough space and not enough clothes and the sweet tingles racing up and down make him light headed and dizzy. They sound of voices are gone and Naruto swallows before leaning back in and taking his lip between his teeth.

Then the sliding of a door makes them jump and they freeze.

"You must exceed at what you do seeing you have four students" the sultry voice of the daiyamos wife is smooth like honey.

"I can't take credit for all of them, I do want I can" Kakashi sensei says. He can imagine the slouched posture and endless indifference of his senpai. The sound of their footsteps is loud on the stones and Sai can hear them but not see them.

Electricity zips through him when Naruto puts his lips on his neck and starts pressing his tongue to his pulse. It tickles down his spine and he moves into the gesture.

"It takes a certain kind of person to teach"

Kakashi sensei chuckles, "sure does."

Naruto bites and Sai tugs on the hair at the nape of his neck, nuzzling him and nibbling on his earlobe.

"And the Daiyamo-sama?"

A lick around Naruto's jaw has him like jelly in Sai's hands.

"Paperwork, negotiations things of the such. Hatake-san I've heard of your reputation but tell me how is one as young as you so accomplished?" Her voice is low and enticing.

"Years of hard work"

Sai's hand wanders between the robe and Naruto gasps.

"Did you hear that?" He asks somewhat abruptly and the wife tries to smooth it over. "No, it was probably just the wind. Are you still interested in those hot springs?"

Another flick of his wrist and Naruto has him pressed to the wall, mouth fierce and his hands fumbling to get under the robe and return the favor with an enthusiasm that acts like fire to his veins.

"I already went"

Sai slings one leg around Naruto's thigh as he watches him spit into his hand and grabs them both, moving in long strokes.

"Oh really, I didn't see you go..." the disappointment in her voice is audible.

"I went with my students. This was a nice tour but I think I must get going, we leave tomorrow"

When Sai joins his hand Naruto rests his forehead against his shoulder and watches the in sync motions of their hands, trying not to be anything louder above a whisper.

"Oh what time? We haven't even seen the gardens!"

Naruto's moans are trapped in his throat but Sai still shushes him, lips pressed to his throat like light kisses with their movements and that doesn't help at all.

"It's quite alright I saw a large part of them earlier, and we leave around mid day tomorrow. Goodnight m'lady." He says and she makes an odd squawk.

"Wait! At least let me walk you to your room" she says somewhat desperately and the clicks of her shoes rush out of the garden quickly.

With the click of the door Naruto starts panting and it's not long before they both come with a heavy grunt and they stay still in the shadows, breeze blowing over heated skin and wobbly at the knees.

"I think they left" Sai says and Naruto can only roll his eyes. They stay still, catching their breathes staring at each other for a second longer before Naruto scoffs, pushing away from the wall and Sai silently follows like his shadow.

"I thought you said teammates didn't do that."

"Shut up, and you said they did"


End file.
